Why didn't he tell me he's dating someone?

I went out with this guy last year, and I thought we had a great connection; but it was bad timing -- he had just been dumped from a serious relationship -- and he panicked and told me he wasn't looking for anything serious. It was nowhere near serious: we hadn't slept together, kissed or anything. I was able to blow it off because I thought I was moving cities for another job, even though I thought he was a great guy.

Anyway, I recently found out that I'm staying in the city but moving to a different company. I'm packing up at my current one, and I've caught him checking me out a couple times. I texted him to ask if he could give me advice on moving companies. He said, "Sure, I'd be happy to chat about it, how about we meet for coffee?" We had a long friendly conversation. It was like old times, where there was no shortage of things to talk about...I made him laugh, we were engaged in conversation but both shy...I didn't really flirt (I'm pretty serious about the guy I'm seeing), and he didn't either, but we were friendly, and that was a big step.

At the end of the conversation, he shook my hand to say goodbye. The extent of our physical contact when we were previously dating was one hug, once, and an arm squeeze (don't laugh, I swear I'm not a virgin).

When I talked to my friend, who works more closely with him, the next day, she said the last thing she heard (a month ago) was that he's dating someone.

I have two questions:

1) Why didn't he mention it? Sure, I didn't tell him about my almost-boyfriend, but I would be interested in dating (if things didn't pan out with the current guy).

2) Wtf is a handshake?


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  • A handshake was a, "nice to catch up" thing. As in, don't look into things he probably sees you as a friend. Plus if you didn't bring yours up either and didn't flirt with him then you guys clearly didn't display any chemistry and just saw it as friendly chat. It is what is is. You probably shouldn't look into it.