How can I get over a man that made out with me one weekend and broke up with me the next?

K... so I had met this man over a dating site a year ago, and we started dating in June of last year. It was the most amazing 9 months of my life, and I couldn't have asked for a better first relationship. Things started changing though last month (I felt it, but he denied everything.) Things had gotten to the point where we would see each other only every other weekend (he lives a little over an hour away from me.) The Friday after we last saw each other, he texted me and told me that his mother was in the hospital in emergency surgery. I told him that I would be there every step of the way and that if he needed to talk, I would always be there. Well... the next day, while talking to him, I had a little rant over text (I had all these plans for the weekend... everything seems to get in the way now, I never get to see you anymore, etc etc). He didn't take too kindly to that; didn't text me for 5 hours, and when he finally did, I asked him if he was going to break up with me (not the first time I asked.) He said that he was going to think about it. Went home crying... ended up talking to him on the phone (which was the last time I talked to him) - he said that it wasn't official yet and that it was as hard for him as it was for me. We ended that conversation with a "Love you", "Love you too", which gave me hope. Except for texting him that night (he gave me an update on his mother), I did not text him until Tuesday - my family advised me not to text him period until he made the first move. That lasted for 4 days and then I had enough - I texted him (I don't even remember what I said now.) His response? "My siblings are more than willing to meet with you somewhere so that they can pick up my stuff." That lead to a very angry 5 minute voice mail from me, followed by lots of angry texts and a few more voice mails. His last text: I told you already (, you didn't) and I feel uncomfortable with what you are asking me (...what?) - I do not want to continue phone or text communication with you, and I wish you best of luck with your future." That was a week ago. He never gave me a proper reason why he wanted to break up with me. This is the only time I've ever seen this time of him - this man is generally very, very sweet to everyone he meets and wouldn't hurt me. I won't go into too much detail, but I don't think he was in this decision alone (I think his family was a huge influence). He even had told someone that he knew the day and hour he would propose to me! I wrote him a letter as a way of closure and put it with his stuff... but I don't know. I know that the guy I fell in love with is still in there. I've gotten weak in this past week and have texted him (which he never responded to) and now I've resolved not to text him anything until June. Should I just give up period? How can we go from a 9 month relationship, to randomly breaking up for no good reason the next? Just very hurt and frustrated...


Most Helpful Guy

  • Clearly his family has advised him, for whatever reason, to break up with you, and you can't fight all of them, especially at a distance. This sounds like an unwinnable battle, so yes, give up, at least for now, unless you hear from him.

    In June, send a final note of closure, something you'll want him to remember, so no ranting or anger in it!


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What Guys Said 2

  • If my mother was in the hospital in critical condition and my girlfriend got angry about her plans for the weekend being destroyed, I would break up with her too. If you're right then his family had good reason to get him away from you.

  • That happens in a lot in the dating world.

    You should just move on and don't think of going back.

    It's not worth it.

    The fastest way to get over him is to find another guy.


What Girls Said 1

  • Just move on...things like this happen all of the time.

    Time will heal it though...