The guy I want to date has PTSD and I need an opinion.

Okay so here is the story:

I met this guy and we started hanging out/dating and bonded over the fact that he used to be an airborne soldier and I want to be airborne. He told me that he had PTSD when I first met him which I am okay with (my best friend lost his leg in the army and has severe ptsd) as long as we are open and honest about what is going on with his medication, treatment, etc. I saw him taking these orange squares that he told me were for his ptsd but I ended up finding out they were suboxion which treats opiate addiction. My first thought was that he had gotten addicted to his medication from the VA but now I am unsure what is going on because he has started to act really weird. I don't know if it is PTSD or if he is crazy. I went back to my parents house for a week and we talked while I was there everyday. He called me his girlfriend and said he couldn't wait until I got back. When I got back to my place I called him and was like "I'm home when are you coming over?!" and he said he was really busy working but he would make time. It has now been OVER A MONTH since I have seen him. He still texts me everyday but doesn't want to see me, ditches me and doesn't want me coming to his house. It's all really strange because before I left he was all about me coming to his house. I don't really know what's happening. I actually called his dad the other day because he told me he was quote " I'm gonna go to the hospital soon my mind and body are going crazy I feel like I am going to have a seizure." His dad ended up going to his house and told me he was resting in bed and that I should give him a little space right now. So I am trying to do that but he's still texting me everyday telling me he wants to come see me. I am so lost and confused. Before he went crazy he was an absolute sweetheart. Paid for everything, opened my doors, laughed a lot, we made plans for the summer.


Most Helpful Girl

  • That may or may not be his PTSD coming out. Suboxone, huh? Was he injured? It's extremely unusual to treat stuff that isn't pain-related with narcotic analgesics. I won't say it never happens, but... for the most part pretty much not. I wonder if there isn't some *other* sh!t going on with him- other mental issues he didn't share with you. The seizure thing especially makes me wonder.

    At any rate, I think it's safe to say that for whatever reason, he's not ready to handle being in a relationship. It doesn't mean he wouldn't *like to*- it means that at this point, he just can't. His father telling you that you should give his son some space right now should speak volumes. Probably Dad knows what he's talking about. This is no reflection on this guy as a person, but if he is unstable right now (and I think he must be), I think you owe it to yourself and him to be very careful. If you proceed, proceed with extreme caution. I'm not saying he is surely violent or anything, but you really don't know *what* is going on with him. He's obviously very fragile right now. Poor guy- my heart goes out to him. So many of these guys are getting out of the military with this diagnosis and from what I have seen and experienced, they are not geting the care they deserve or the education about their diagnosis that they need. Best of luck to you both.

    • He was, he has a TBI from an IED exploding and the impact from hitting the inside of the HUMV. He's got really bad knee's from being airborne and jumping out of planes with combat gear. He also gets a constant ringing in his ears. He was an 11B enlisted soldier.

      What would your next step be? I REALLY want to see him/date him/HUG him, but I don't want to do anything stupid. I have already broken up with him and told him that I wanted to wait until everything relaxed before we focused on dating.

    • Show All
    • I am going to try that. I am going to text him back but tell him not to worry about coming to see me physically just focus on himself and I will be here when he is ready.

    • Yep- I would keep an open line of communication with him-- strap yourself in, though. It can be a rough ride.

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  • That's his ptsd coming out... I don't think there is much to do with you. It sounds like he is sick and tries to fight back. This is why he still texts you but there is obviously a reason why he doesn't want you to come to his house. And whatever this is because at some point it is playing with his mental stability.

    Maybe ask to see him in a neutral public space?

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