A few questions about men, dating and falling in love

I was on a date with a guy from a dating site last night, and we had such a good time. We drank some tea at a cafe, then ate at a vegetarian restaurant, and then took a walk in the park. Two hours in the park flew by just like that, and then I had to go home. When we went to the train station, I had to leave in a rush because my train was already there, so we didn't really get to say goodbye properly. While in the train, he called me and asked if I wanted to see him again soon. I said yes, and then we arranged that I come see him at his workplace, try the sauna that he is in charge of(a puplic swimming pool) and then go see a movie, on Thursday.

First question, how soon is it normal to fall in love? I think I have a crush on him.. I think of him all day long, and I can't stop smiling. But I'm kinda angry at myself for that, as I think that its not right after just one date, and it is very unlikely he feels the same way already!

He will have to see me in a bikini(I found a really great one, no spaghetti straps, I like mine to stay in place) but I'm kinda worried that he is gonna be turnt off(even a little). Almost any clothing makes me look slimmer than I really am, and I guess that is a nice thing, I'm just thinking that I might not look like he expected.

A similar question, I have lots of stretch marks and cellulite. What do most guys think of that? They probably do notice it, I'm thinking, but do they care? .. I'm 5'4 and weigh 130 pounds. Or 166cm and 59kg.

The guy is tall, funny and talkative. He's probably not what most would call handsome, but I think he has lovely eyes. :D he's also kinda chubby, and has some stretch marks himself(I saw on a bunch of pictures on his Facebook). But would that make him more likely to see past mine? :)

When would it be normal for me to sleep over? To kiss? Sex? You know, just estimates and what YOU think would be normal/too soon.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You're a normal weight for your height. Stretch marks and cellulite are pretty low down the list of (physical) things I care about. For example, having an attractive face, being hygienic, having nice boobs and butt, having a nice shape, and not being overweight or underweight would all be much higher. But different guys have different preferences, of course.

    I don't think it's unusual for people to have those kinds of feelings at this stage. Myabe he has those feelings too.

    Different people have different norms. I think the first or second date is a good time to start getting physical, especially kisses and hugs, which aren't demanding at all if you think about it. I like to see a girl a few times before actually having sex. I think getting to know your partner before you sexually get to know them can increase (good) tension. I would say two weeks / a few dates would be a good time to have sex for the first time. If after a month or so, she still didn't want to have sex, I might feel a little unwanted.

    • Just to be clear, it's obvious you have a crush on him, which is fine. I don't think you're in love with him, which would be weird at this stage.

    • No no, I don't think I'm in love either. Just a crush. But even then, you would that even having a crush on him is also quite early/too soon.. :)

    • I DON'T think it's EVER too early for a crush :)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • "First question, how soon is it normal to fall in love?"

    Way too soon for you.

    "I'm kinda worried that he is gonna be turnt off"

    You and every other girl who has a hang up about her body. Don't worry about it, he won't be.

    "I have lots of stretch marks and cellulite. What do most guys think of that?"

    It's not ideal, but no woman ever is. So most guys don't give a second thought to it. A young virgin guy with no experience of women might mouth off on a forum about it, but you and I both know that if a flesh and blood girl gave him a sniff, he'd be all over her like white on rice.

    "he's also kinda chubby, and has some stretch marks himself - would that make him more likely to see past mine?"

    Almost certainly.

    "When would it be normal for me to sleep over? To kiss? Sex?"

    Whenever YOU feel ready. Who gives a crap what anyone else thinks on the subject? But if you must know an opinion... kiss him on the next date, sleeping over should be when you have sex. I would say... after 3 weeks of dating.

    • Thank you. :D You rule.

What Girls Said 1

  • It's too early to fall in love though, maybe it's just you had such a great time and share good chemistry and you are just excited about it. it's a good feeling anyways.

    well him asking you to try the sauna, I can see he's trying to see your body. lol

    I think he already drew picture of your body shapes maybe even naked lol in his mind so I woudn't worry that much..

    and about intimacy, just let it happen naturally. with my guy, we went too fast, we had sex on our third. but then we're the case where it developed physically first then emotionally lol

    but you guys sounds lovely cute together compare to ours...ughy lol jealous

    it seems he's a genuine guy and really likes you too, so just see how it happens!

    If there's a great connection, seems you already having, usually first kiss happens on the first,second.. latest third date. and sex is whole different story. it varies a lot depending on people.

    what do YOU think? you think sex should happen after exclusive talk? because many women set their boundary base on that. either they don't care happens before, or it has to be happened after exclusive talk. I personally, who went 'sex before exclusivity' path lol I suggest after the talk.. because I really was dealing with all pains from my insecurities..

    • No no, my question was how soon is it normal to fall in love, but I just have a crush. I said crush. :D

      And thank you.. Yeah, I really hope it leads to something more. :) He put his arms around me in the park, while we sat on a bench and talked. He could feel I was freezing. Ahh.. such a good memory. And I am definitely all for sex after the talk, when you are much more comfortable with each other. I was just wondering if there was a 'too late mark'. :D Like too soon.