He likes me but he doesn't want to be with me. How do I convince him to date me?

I dated this guy, Let's call him Bob, for a few months and then he broke up with me. That was three months ago and we have maintained a stable friendship since then. Three weeks ago, we were out to dinner with a bunch of friends after our school's spring musical. He saw me flirting with another guy and got really jealous. He later heard me talking to a girlfriend of mine and I said I didn't like the guy I was flirting with. She asked Bob if he likes me and he got really embarrassed and said of course not. Then last Wednesday, Bob was being really flirty in a public space. That evening, we were talking and he said the only thing that's stopping him from wanting to be with me now is our age difference. (he just turned 18, I'm 15. He's a junior, I'm a sophomore) He said it doesn't bother him but he's scared of what others will think. Last night, we talked until about 3 am. He said he finds me really attractive and he's really conflicted. Part of him doesn't think he has time for a girlfriend and is scared of what people will say (both because he has previously broken up with me and because of the ages). He asked for a friends with benefits relationship. I rejected Bob's idea because I told him that since we have feelings for each other that aren't purely physical, it wouldn't be a good idea. Bob told me I shouldn't wait for him to figure out what he wants. He also said that he wants to see in the future because he really does like me. We flirt a lot and then he gets all serious in conversation when we discuss this. Bob said he didn't like nosy people at school getting involved in our relationship before and doesn't want that again. How can I convince him that we should date? The feelings are clearly there, so how do I chase his fears away and make him sure of himself in a relationship? Please help, I really like this guy.


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What Guys Said 2

  • First. Hold your ground. Bob needs to mature if he wants the relationship to florish.

    This means Bob needs to stop caring what outsiders think of your potential relationship. If he is unwilling to grow up then I think you would be better to wait and definitely don't accept the "friends with benefits" relationship.

  • The fact that he doesn't want to date you but wants a friends with benefits relationship lets me know he does not care about you. It sucks but it's true. And he should not give a sh*t about what others think of him.


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