I hope someobody understands or has any advice, I feel crazy!!

I have been dating this guy for seven months now and it has been such a rollercoaster! I feel myself spiraling out of control. I've been engaged, been in two long term relationships and have never had this kind of trouble before. This guy was on the borderline of being unfaithful in the begining, I fought and fought him to stop texting girls he claimed were friends, he was always flirting. I had this gut feeling something wasn't right and would literally drive by his house to try and catch him! I felt like I was crazy! I've never done that before! He was mentally abusive, and would break up with me literally every two weeks. Tell me I wasn't fun, that I wasn't half the woman his ex was, that I would end up a druggie just like my mom. I began to retaliate the same way! Saying the most hateful things I could think of. And the more I pulled away, the more he pulled toward me. Finally he broke up with me. FINALLY. And I began seeing someone else. When he found this out he went crazy, showing up crying at my house, bringing flowers (which he'd never done), texting me like crazy! Threatening to kill himself even! He contacted the guy I was talking to and I got a restraining order! I stayed away for quite a while but the messages kept pouring in. His best friend would tell me he's never seen him like this, that he really thinks he's in love. I made the mistake of meeting up with him, to see that he had lost like thirty pounds. He said he hadn't been eating. We reconcilled, and I began seeing him behind everyones back again! Things had actually been pleasant, we were getting along, enjoying each other, his phone hardly ever buzzed. But inside I had this resentment, this anger from how he had been to me before, everything he'd put me through! The other night we went to watch the game, I felt so moody (you know how women are when its that time...) and I had asked him earlier if he would stop by and see me for a little bit because I was house sitting for a friend all alone. He was now saying he couldn't that he had to get up early. I got upset and left. He said I embarrassed him in fromt of his friend, then ignored me all the next day. I called him and called him like a crazy lady, drove to his house. I'm telling you, I've never been like this before, it does not make me feel good. Then he texts and says I'm with a girl leave me alone ha ha jk. I called and called again. No answer. Finally this morning he calls me, saying he turned his phone on silent was with his friends drinking at the house and barbecuing. I told him does he have any idea number one how that makes someone feel to ignore them, and number two to say he's with a girl and not answer! He says he was upset with me and wanted space. I said that's all you had to say! I feel like we are both reacting very poorly and may be oil and water to each other and just don't mix! Any advice? I feel so completely miserable and don't understand why I am acting so crazy, or futhermore, why I have stayed!

To Anonymous User below...its actually interesting to read your response. He said when he first started dating me he wasn't in love, very attracted to me, but didn't know what he wanted. Now I left and he says he's in love with me, still said that this morning, but things have escalated to the point where he says he needs space to cool down.


Most Helpful Guy

  • the guy like to think you will be around forever and when he sees you move on he wants you back its like a challenge , I am in a relationship right now that is exactly how you described to the letter one difference is is that I am head over heels for her and I wasn't when we fisrt started dating I was attracted but not in love and I got scared because our personalities were totally different and still are, I didn't know what I wanted out of a relationship. you two are playing games and undoubtedly you two like that but he obviously is out to hurt you if he would text and say he is with another girl and then not respond he is trying to get a reaction from you. as to his weight lose that's a weird deal he may have medical issues or could have found out he had cancer, hard to say but what isn't is that he was trying to use that to his advantage any means possible he sounds like a jerk honey. communication is key in a relationship guys tend to bottle thing up for a while and girls want it out there on the table I know its hard for me to say something that I want to say sometimes because I'm not sure it will come across right or be worded right. be straight up with him serious and ask him what he wants if its not you this will send him running and that should be a good enough answer for you to know he is not interested long term

    • Thank you so much for your advice. I have asked him what he wants. He says he wants me! He didn't go running at all! And you know I have been just as mentally abusive as him, its terrible. Before he said the thing about the girl I said I would rather date the last guy I was with because he was a better man. He said he responded with being with a girl because I said something hurtful first. Neither of us are right...at all

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What Guys Said 1

  • some people are simply unbalanced in their interior world and reflect this to their relationships

    • Would that be myself, or him?

    • Show All
    • actually ya...that does happen. Meaning we'll start bickering about something like couples usually do, then the past gets thrown in there by both of us, like there's resentment there

    • I was guessing him, but now I'm confused a little bit :))

What Girls Said 1

  • I really think you need to break it off with this guy. He's poison. How dare he say that you're not as good as his ex? Seriously, it sounds to me like he's guilt tripped you into giving him a second chance. You really deserve better. I've been down this road and it ended so badly, so, so badly...for me. Please get rid of him now.

    • I have always had a terrible feeling about this guy...if you don't mind telling me, how did it end badly for you? Could you message me?