When I was a freshman in college I start dating this guy who I thought was great. When we were seniors in college we moved in together and he became really verbally abusive and then he ended up getting physically abusive. It is def not something I ever thought I would experience. After we broke up he ended up dating a girl 2 days later. She had even heard about what happened with him and I and she still dated him. Well fast forward to now and it has been 2 years since we broke up. I found out recently that he is engaged to that girl and that they are having a baby. Since they have been dating he had tried to get me to cheat on my now boyfriend with him. I told him to leave me alone and I am over him but I can't help but feel upset. It bugs me that he did all those horrible things to me and he is so happy. I hate that she thinks he is so wonderful. I don't want to feel like this and think about it but I do. How do I get over what he did and the fact that he is getting married and seems so happy?
Most Helpful Guy
At this point the issue is YOU and not him. He too is a human being and he has the right to find peace and happiness in life.
YOU need to do some work on yourself. This is a form of 'jealousy' which can always be traced back to low self esteem. It can be a long logical train to get you to your root issue but that is a fact. You're basically putinghim "higher" than yourself and you are putting yourself "lower." That is something you need to stop doing. I imagine it is not easy to do if there's been elements of physical absue. But it's work you gotta do on yourself to find your own peace and happiness.
Essentially, as you develop more awareness about how your mind works you will discover that YOU decide how you want to feel. In a way HE didn't do anything to you - it's all in your head as to HOW YOU CHOOSE to react to what happens to you.
Somebody with your type of issues I'd say you might benefit from working through them with a good therapist rather than trying to figure it all out on your own.
Good luck. All the best,0