Insight please... So confused..just to save my ego

Ahh some insight please

I had been single for about a year since my last break up (6 months grieving and 6 months concentrating on myself) so I decided to get back out there. My buddy suggested a dating site since I work 2 jobs and rarely get any time to go out and enjoy weekends and evenings.. I was skeptical at first because I've never been online dating or done anything long distance before. A few weeks go by and nothing has really sparked my interest until this one girl came along.. Insanely gorgeous, funny, smart.. So we instantly hit it off and become "e-separable" within a couple weeks.. So comfortable in fact that we are able to share our insecurities with each other (she's bipolar2 and I have lost some motor skills in my right arm due to a brain injury I had several years ago and it also causes me to have slight muscle imbalance but I can do anything any "normal" person could do.) she's 22 and I'm 28 by the way. We decided that we weren't going to let our "issues" define us and like each other for who we were and get through it as a team. She lives 2 hours away and we talked about both being comfortable with long distance

I think it may have been a mistake for us both to get so attached before meeting.

So she comes down to see me. First night went great besides the beginning awkwardness...dinner, drinks, all that stupid lovey dovey butterflies crap that couples do in the beginning.. Then she tried to initiate sex. I normally would but I decide to be the good guy and say we should wait just because of the drinking thing and first night meeting or whatever (looking back that was dumb)

The second day was good but not as good as the night before, but nonetheless still good.

The third day was good too and we finally had sex and she went home awhile afterward. On her way home she was messaging the stuff girlfriends usually say "I miss you already" but then the next day she hit me with the " it's not you, it's me " and "you remind me of my ex" bull**** pretty much out of nowhere. She said she couldn't handle the distance because she was bipolar and everything was amazing and perfect but when she got home it made her think more because she was not in the moment. I told her I couldn't be friends with her because I didn't think it would work and she got very upset and said " it would be so different if you were here but you're not and its not good for my bipolar levels I'm sorry I feel so terrible"

So a week goes by and she contacts me and asks how I'm doing (guilt check up) and I demand to know the real reason why she bailed.. And she hits me with " your funny sweet and handsome.. It was seriously just my stuff with long distance and all the other bull****"

So a month passes and we talk.. And she says she has a new boyfriend that's 3 hours away.. So much for the distance excuse she gave me.. What do you guys think? What did I do wrong? She told me not to be so self conscious about my neuro issues because its not noticeable enouinsecure


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What Girls Said 2

  • You're a sweetie you did nothing wrong. She's a scumbag for getting with another guy right away. I'm sure she was talking to him and you at the same time. O well brush it off and move on. And hey at least you got laid! :D

  • It really isn't you, it really is her. She's indecisive and doesn't know what she wants. Don't change yourself just because one bitch screwed you up. You did the right thing. And maybe she just wanted to have sex with you, I mean why else would she initiate the first move for sex on the first date?! It's not a bad thing to sleep with a guy on the first date but us girls usually don't make the first move to that so fast. And she probably really just thought about the moment and acted on it (just like she said) but when it was over started to think about it but then another guy comes into her life and she probably did the same with him but maybe he was in the picture all along and she was just choosing...She did this to you, then she doesn't deserve a guy like you anyway, so take it as a good thing and as a relief..


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