Texting an ex, is cheating?

Hi Guys,

So I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. We live together and have a 7 month old son. Before our baby came along I caught my boyfriend cheating, sexting and doing horrible thing behind my back. We broke up several times and I have forgiven him for the past. I don't bring it up and I have slowly allowed him to win my trust again. about 2 years before I met him I dated someone for 6 years. We never ended in bad terms we just grew apart and keep in touch every now and then. He is married with 2 kids and is happy.

I have never misbehaved or ever given my current boyfriend reason to not trust me. I can say 100% I have always been faithful.So this weekend my ex texted me to see how I was doing and to give me the news that his baby girl was born. At that moment when he texted, I was upset because I had gotten in an argument with my boyfriend where he said he is lazy and is just comfortable in the relationship where he doesn't feel like he needs to do nice things for me and doesn't feel the need to sleep with me because I'm always so availabel and he just feels like I'm always "around" he said. I was so sad and I felt unappreciated and taken for granted as a woman. so when my ex texted me I sstarted to vent, My boyfriend asked who I was texting to I said no one. he peeked at the phone and saw m exes name asked to see my phone and in a panic I deleted the messages/conversation. . The conversation was very innocent but I have never seen my boyfriend so jealous so I panicked. He asked me to leave the house and not to come back he said I'm a liar and that I'm cheatin. Which I'm not. but I know that he sees it like iam.I know how it looks. I look guilty. But my ex boyfriend lives hours away and he knows this. I just feel like he has done much much much worse. Like sex with other woman and things. I have offered to call my ex in front of him or ask him to text him whatever will make him feel better and reassure him but he isn’t having any of it. I left the house with our son and I'm staying at relatives for now but I pay half the rent and have every right to go back plus my son is sleeping on peoples couches and I think that is unnecessary! I have no problem doing whatever necessary but I feel like now he gets a taste of his own medicine and knows how I felt when he did all those thngs to me. I Haven't spoken to him since Sunday no calls or text. this morning I went home to pick up clothers and shower and I left a note saying "Im sorry. Now I understand how you might have felt when I wasw quick to assume you were cheating when you might have been teactually telling the truth and I thought you were being unfaithful. But your did cheat on me and did much worse things.but I now see that some of the texts that I read might have been innoncent and I never gave you the benefit of the doubt. I'm sorry for making you doubt me or making you feel like you cnat trust me. I never wanted for you to feel like this because I know how it is to feel the way you do. I love you and I'm sorry.

Advice people?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Here's the deal. No guy will EVER be okay with his girl venting to another guy. It's not cheating, but it might as well be in the eyes of guys.

    As far as texting goes, it isn't "cheating" if it's just casual texting.

    • Why won't a guy be okay with his girlfriend venting to another guy?

    • Show All
    • Ah, I see. Interesting. I never thought of it like that.

    • My current boyfriend never got a chance to read what we were texting he just saw who I was texting and that I deleted the messages. That's why I deleted the messages because I knew if he saw I was talking about him to my ex that would piss him off. I kinow it not cheating but its right also since I gave him a hard time about texting his ex.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • It's not cheating at all, though it's really bad if you tell how you truly feel to another guy.

    • I know you are right. My current boyfriend never got a chance to read what we were texting he just saw who I was texting and that I deleted the messages.

What Girls Said 1

  • Don't let it become an emotional affair.

    • Its not like that. We have been talking every now and then and it has never gotten to that extent everything is just so casual. This was the one time I vented!