Dating someone with a child

Has anyone (without their own child) dated someone with a child before, Or know of anyone that does?

I need some advice. I don't know if its the best idea to pursue this.Im scared of what will happen in the future.

Anyone know of happy endings to this kind of situation?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I was 19 when I dated a girl who was 5 years older than me, and had a 4 year old son. I love kids to death and never really seen myself ever having one, infants actually petrify me (I'm terrified of dropping them or poking holes through their soft skin - don't judge me!)

    It took some adjustment, but I jumped into the dad role and loved him like he was my own. When things ultimately ended up not working out, we broke up but I continued to visit and buy him b-day and Christmas gifts. Eventually his biological father grew some cahunas and entered the picture as well as my ex moving on to date other guys, I dropped my role as the kids guardian so as not to intervene but to this day I still hold both of them in high regards and we are on good terms. Happy ending? It isn't over yet, we may all die in a horrendous car accident or house fire but as for happy continuings I'd say, nailed it.

    The important thing is if you are the one with a kid, you need to find a match for not only you, but for your child as well. One night stands and casual dating is detrimental to a child who is learning from their parent in what choices to make on later in life. If you are considering dating someone with a child, think of the responsibility you are getting yourself into, and dwell on the consequences towards the child bringing your lifestyle into their lives.

    I was not thinking I would ever be a father, for a moment in time I was, and I can say it was very rewarding.

    Hope this helps, woof.

    • thank you for your response, My concern is more about the mother of the child, and feeling second best to her. I feel like I can never compare to the mother of his own child, its just making me insecure. did you feel this way too

    • Show All
    • Being you is the key, and be the best you can be. This is something the mother can't be, she will never be you, and if she ever tries... she will come up to being second best. Again, it's not a competition, so don't view it like one. Focus on bringing your charm, experience, and grace as well as all of the other qualities that your man is attracted to. Try being anyone else other than yourself, and yes, you will be fighting a losing battle.

    • you're right, thanks so much I really appreciate it

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • I never have. But here's some issues. 1) The child is important to him. You cannot, EVER state that he has to choose between you two. Depending on the age of the child, sleepovers may be awkward. 2) You will have an ex (assuming the mother hasn't died) to contend with. This can be sticky and a pain in the ass. 3) If you do end up together, the ex will always be in the picture, and you'll have a ready-made family.

    It can be successful, one of my work wives dated and married a guy who had two kids. They seem happy and just had a baby together.

    • im fine with all your points, and have accepted them, but its number 2. - the ex, I don't know if I can accept. They have such a big history together and that scares me. thanks so much for your reply

  • First off, not a huge kid person. Dated a girl for a year. She had an 8 y/o boy, Dad was a sh*t head and out of the picture. The kid part requires some serious patience and understanding. What makes it tough is when the kid is acting up are just being a brat. I had to remember, it's not my kid or my place. Which she always reminded me of.

    You're actually entering into a relationship with the person and the kid/s in a way. Where the kid/s are always gonna come first before you and you rarely have a say.

    But yeah, we broke up because she was kinda crazy and erratic the kid was cool. I'm older now and most of the girls I meet are single moms. I could totally see me falling for someone with a kid. It's not a deal breaker to me.

  • I still haven't dated someone like that, though if you really feel comfortable with the guy and you see yourself in a long term with him, this is a good chance.

    • yeah, I definitely see a future with him and I feel very comfortable with him, I guess its figuring out if he feels the same way :) thanks!

  • Well,l as you age, passing your 30's, you will find that chances are more and more probable that someone may have a child.

    I told myself that I would never date someone with a child. But I have found an amazing woman that has one. Luckily for me I have a lot of things in common with her kid, so we get along really well. So you may want to consider getting to know this kid.

    Also lucky for me, there is no baby daddy around. So I don't have to deal with that kind of drama.

    It is hard though having to miss on all those adventures, and travels with your couple without always having to think about the kid in the picture. And since there is no baby daddy around I may be expected to support him through his growth, including college and stuff...


What Girls Said 2

  • No

  • google it...lots info. out there about dating guys with kids, kids mom to deal with.

    unless you can't get single guys..why need one with that much baggage?

    • i know, my friends say the same thing. I just fell for this one for who he is, and put aside the baggage. Now I'm worrying about the future. thanks for your response, I will google it now :)