How to improve my "game" at talking to girls?

My problem with talking to girls, mainly attractive ones, is:

-Mind goes blank

-boring conversation topics

-feel like I'm boring them(and that's a deal breaker too in dating, think about it)

-scared of awkward silences, especially hanging out

- worst of all is I have a couple ATTRACTIVE female friends that don't wanna date me, we've been friends for a LONG time, and I still get awk silences and boring convo topics with them. And that's probably why I'm not deemed as attractive to them

I was honestly thinking to just sign up to some dating sites, date or PLATONICALLY hang with random girls, which would thus improve my confidence and social skills.

Other then that, any ideas? I did notice some days I can be extremely entertaining and fun with girls, and the ideas of what to say pop in my head, other days it just goes completely blank

I should mention I'm 20 years old... and honestly never done ANYTHING with a girl. no kissing/holding hands/date or sex... yeah. and I get compliments from girls a lot on my appearence... but like I just have zero "Game" at talking to girls


Most Helpful Girl

  • You sound a lot like my boyfriend. He told me that in high school and first year of college, he was constantly rejected (even though he's good-looking and tall) because he didn't know how to talk to girls. His friends told me how in the beginning, he'd freeze when he was around girls and not be able to say anything. So needless to say, he wasn't able to do ANYTHING with any girl.

    Then he joined a frat (not the typical stupid-jock type of frats), where he was basically forced to enter social scenes and talk to girls as part of his duty. He learned from his brothers who taught him how to be or appear confident around girls and it was all uphill from there.

    I am his first serious girlfriend. On our first two dates, I felt like I did most of the talking 'cause he was kind of quiet compared to my exes, so I wasn't sure if he was just shy or bored. I went with the flow and after a few more dates, he opened up and now our communication line is open.

    You just have to find a girl that gets you and isn't afraid of silence. Sometimes the most romantic moments are shared in silence.

    • Oh and remember, both girls and guys love to talk about themselves. Find out what she is interested in, hobbies, clubs, favorite movies, etc and ask her about them. Also mutual friends can really help too.

    • Show All
    • You sound like a pretty great girlfriend. Smart, patient, and down to Earth. props to you. (:

    • :)

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 8

  • A lot of guys have that problem of thinking you need to have a collection of cool topics to talk about not to be boring... this is completely false and the worse is that they focus on this during the convesation

    The girl is talking to you and instead of listening to her you are thinking "what else can we can talk about ? oh geez I have no idea..; god I'm so boring.. sh*t sh*t sh*t awkward silence is coming soon nooooo xD "

    ... Listen to HER and she will give you HEAPS of material to talk about.

    Make her talk about things she likes and that will put her in a good mood. Focus on feelings not facts. Girls can talk all day so mak HER talk. Whatever she is talking about, ask her how she felt about it, how did she liked it, was it good ? why ? etc etc

    Also, your mood has a lot to do with your ability to talk. If you feel awesome (for example you just met the president...) then you will have that energy that just "magically" makes you talkative. Try to be in that mood as much as you can. Use whatever methods (I know some guys like to use mp3 players to get or stay in the mood for example)

    Put some sexual jokes if you can (spice up the convo lol), like for example treat her as if she was a perv (as a joke) like "please can you stop looking at my butt, I know it's pretty tight but you make me feel uncomfortable" and SMILE :) . Shit like that you know.

    Just be fun bro. NO stress. Who cares. You're not going through an examination test. You're just talking. You do what you want, you do not owe anybody anything. Screw silence. Who cares. You're not paid to have your mouth open 24/7. Just relax.

  • don't think about it too much, don't put them on a pedestal, they're just normal people like you and me. they're shy and self conscious too, and they do super weird stuff when they're alone

    i'm positive your looks are fine, I rarely ever see a guy that's just plain ugly

    if you put them on a pedestal, they'll look down on you.

    looks aside (which is still important :P) they're exactly the same as any other girl and don't think about making the conversation flow or dressing a certain way for their sake, you deserve pleasure(s) too

  • Mind goes blank because you're thinking to much. Get out of your head, pay attention to her, her expressions, words, what she's saying, the environment.

    Boring convos because It's not what you say, but how you say it. You can talk about things that are boring, but if you sound interesting and exciting, it will make boring thinngs interesting and exciting.

    Stop caring what they think, and care what you think.

    Silences, make a joke out of it. "ok, this is awkward, say something already! :P"

    And if you want to learn more, check out this book link It's about becoming a better man that just naturally attracts women, not about becoming a performing monkey.

  • I know where your coming from and I have the same problem. So I don't know why I am answering this.

    Don't force the conversation, if it's dead. End it.

    Also if you wan't them to think of you in another way, SINCERELY give them a compliment and see them light up.

    And you have to get it to lead to something else, like a hug or something. Or perhaps asking them if they want to come along later with your friends to hangout/do some activity barbeque perhaps.

    I don't think that the best conversationalist in the world would get girls to suddenly kiss him.

    Hope that helped a bit and I will try to follow it myself :P

  • get rich

  • be good looking . That's all what they care about

  • practice practice practice, try talking to random girls just to see what works and what doesn't.

  • If you ever ran out of things to say, look around you and talk about that.

    About boring conversation topics, get interested in her. Find out her strong points, her childhood, and dreams and talk about that.