Well, I'm not too experienced in dating... in high school I was the wallflower that was constantly rejected by guys, never asked out, etc. Then by the end of high school I met my ex and we were together for more than 6 years... now I'm 24, I've only ever been in one relationship and I'm still recovering from all the pain and such. As of now, I don't want to be with anyone... though not really because I met and liked a guy I met a while ago, but he lives a few hundred miles away so it's not possible to be together.
Life and its ways, though... now that I still don't feel ready to date, I've met many guys, and some are interested... they haven't been direct, but I can tell. They always invite me for drinks and such, and well, I usually tell them I'm not available because I know they might expect more and while I like them as friends, I also don't want to seem like a tease (I've been told I am naturally flirty, even though I'm coy). There's a fine balance which I haven't mastered... I either come off as too cold, or as interested... I don't know how to demonstrate that I appreciate a guy's friendship but that's it, you know?
I've been honest but most guys take that as playing hard to get...
So how do I do it? I don't want to be seen as a bitch either... I'm just not ready to date, and I also don't want to be all like "you know I'm not ready to date, I'm scared to death, carrying a lot of baggage from my last relationship, and it's not that I'm playing hard to get... but you're a very nice friend", you know?
Most Helpful Guy
1) This one is a bit sarcastic with intent, but theoretically it has the highest chance of success; play the clingy/desperate/type of gal that has never dated before and is obsessed with the guy she's met. Call him every 10 seconds to ask if he's gone to the bathroom yet, what he's about to eat, etc.. Guaranteed to drive a guy away before attracting him. The benefit is that this works while initially meeting someone all the way to initially dating them. The con is that it makes you look socially awkward, if you care about that sort of thing.
2) Don't indulge him long enough to have a deep connection with you; maintain your social skills and when the opportunity presents itself to leave the situation promptly accept the opportunity and roll with it "John, I really appreciate the conversation but this is my song, have a great night man take care"
3) Be direct and punctual "I was serious when I said I'm not interested, you're just a friend and I'd like to keep it that way." Being assertive is the key point to making this a success, if you are feeble in your tonality a guy might pick up on that and chase you around the countryside hoping to be your prince.
4) Ask him embarrassing questions to make him doubt himself (this one is probably the worst option you can choose but has a fairly strong chance of success as well): "What's your major in college?" That question skims the surface, so dig deeper, "That's interesting, tell me more" and see how deep the conversation can go - eventually it will get too awkward or become too much effort to maintain the conversation.
5) Maintain socially awkward behavior.. E.g. spill your drink on him and then laugh, after picking your nose and wiping it on his shirt, accidentally pump his arm into some other guy's ass, etc..
The above is merely entertainment to me; the truth is that if you don't indulge socializing in particular venues you'd have the best chance of avoiding the mess entirely. Bar scenes, public events, etc - guys tend to frequent in hopes to score or pick up a new girlfriend. If you want to socialize without the pressure, easy peazy, just call a few friends and have a gals night out and have them bring their guy friends who aren't pushy.0