Is she actually busy, or letting me down easy? Is she interested or just being nice to avoid sounding mean?

I got a girl's number through a mutual friend. Was told to call her. I went into the shop where she works and introduced myself. Called her later that day to ask her out. Got the voice mail, so I left a message asking her out and saying call me.

3 days pass and she doesn't reply. I figure I would try again (text this time) and if I did not get a response then I would move harm in trying and I've got nothing to lose at this point. She responded within 15 minutes and the text convo looked like this (I'm paraphrasing and leaving out names, of course, so focus more on the message being conveyed than the actual text itself):

Me: "Hey, would you like to go grab some dinner this week? If so, cool, if not just let me know " ... (I gave her an easy out with that last sentence there)

Her: "Hey, sorry for not getting back to you. I have been so busy with planning ____ event. Won't be able to have dinner, thanks tho" ... (I know for a fact this is a legitimate event she is planning)

"OK, any chance you would like to try meeting up next week? If you're just not interested it's alright" ... (I gave her a second easy out. All she had to say was "not interested" and the convo would end and we would move on)

"I will let you know. My schedule is so crazy and I have to play it day by day" ...

"I know what you mean, I've got a crazy schedule too since I work a lot during the week. Good luck with your event"


End of convo.

The optimist in me says she did not take either of the 2 "outs" I gave her, so maybe she is interested and would want to go out next week if I text her again. The pessimist in me says she is just trying to let me down easy and be nice without actually saying "I'm not interested".

What do you guys think about this situation? I'm sure it is nothing new, but it is a new experience for me and I would like advice on how to handle it. Thanks.

Thanks for the answers folks. I figured she just didn't have the guts to flat out say "no thanks, not interested" even though I gave her 2 opportunities to do so. Like some of you said, the ball is in her court now. I figure she won't get back to me, but I gave it a try and I'm usually pretty shy so there's some progress. You gotta swing in order to hit the ball, I just happened to miss this time.

Thanks again for the answers. I will update this thread if anything happens.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly, no matter how busy I am if the guy of my dreams asked me out, or I really liked him I would make time for him.

    It doesn't sound promising. Even if she does like you she likely won't have much time for you if she is being honest.

    • The girl I like, I told last night. She feels the same (from what I got from her last night)..and she rarely has time for me (you have to understand who she is to understand my story). The girl in the QA's question is probably just actually busy. QA, give her time...and find something to do while you're waiting. Girls want what they can't have!

    • The thing with being busy is we choose what we spend our time on and these girls are both choosing not to spend it with you.

      I'm busy too and if the perfect guy asked me out I would make room in my schedule or at least attempt to.

      Actions speak louder than words...

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What Girls Said 3

  • Sorry, but as a girl, if I fancy a guy and he asks me out I go straight for it no matter how busy I am. I feel she didn't take the "outs" Because she didn't want to hurt your feelings. Bottom line is, she's not that into you. :(

  • she doesn't seem interested. sorry.

  • Yeah sorry it's not looking good. It sounds like she's just making up excuses. Don't know what the problem is, but I would just let this one go. Personally, if a guy who I'm interested in calls me you better BELIEVE I'm going to get back to him even if I'm planning the Queen's wedding, ok? Lol so in the future if you're not getting any response, just play it cool and let her come to you, no extra texting or any of that, if she never does, bam, there's your answer.


What Guys Said 2

  • It's clear that she's just letting you down easy.

  • Some girls just haven't got the guts to tell you straight theyre not interested. So I think you'll have to take note of that. And the ball is now in her court. She knows you're interested in going out with her and now its up to her whether she wants to follow you up about it. I wouldn't text her or ask her again.