My goal is serious relationship, should I stop dating casual?

would you agree that if your goal is to find a serious relationship that could lead to marriage, it is dumb to date people you KNOW are wrong for you long term?

i did this when I was younger (dated guys who were definitely wrong for me both because they didn't treat me how I deserved AND they were someone I could not see a future with) because it was more fun than being alone.

but now that I am older I am serious about settling down and I'm in my prime for the next few years so I don't want to waste it dating guys that I know will not yield in a relationship.

yeah it's not so fun or easy not having someone to give me attention or whatever, but it's easy to form an emotional bond with the wrong person and I don't want to waste my time anymore.

when I say casual dates I mean dating guys who make it clear they do not want a relationship with me OR guys who I KNOW I will not have a future with. while it takes time to get to know someone, sometimes you KNOW there is no future early on. ex: if you are religious and only want to marry from your own faith.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah you should get with guys that are ready, the ones that you know mean it when they tell you all they want to do is make you happy. Work on developing a friendship rather than focusing on the sexual attraction. How well you get a long as friends is the key to knowing how compatible you really are and how close you can get. If he knows how to be a good best friend to you then he will make you very happy, sexual attraction just builds from there :) For example, at the begining of my relationship I told my guy that I was afraid our relationship was more physical than emotional because I felt I had issues keeping up a conversation with him, so from then on he just waited for me to make sexual advancements and he would pick up on moments of slience and would bring up the most random subjects. 8 months later and our relationship is much stronger, but since leaving school for the summer we are long distance, and just the other night we were texting, I felt I had ran out of conversation, told him so and asked if he wanted to keep talk tomorrow. What does he do? He ignores that text complete and texts me random questions XD a couple of minutes after that text he decides to call me and we talk on the phone for another hour. He remembered when situations like that made me unhappy and so did it to make me happy. Its little things like that you can pick up on and you know how he feels so genuine! :) good luck!


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • No, you shouldn't stop it. If you stop having casual dates, you will never meet that quality guy you're looking for.


What Girls Said 1

  • I totally know where your coming from. I think its best to know what YOU want & don't settle for less. For Example ; say you meet a guy & you like him and you want to be in a relationship but he just wants sex then don't compromise and give him what he wants while you are heartbroken and wanting more out of it. You have to KNOW what you want. (Yeah I know I just said that ) You can't date a guy and ignore all red flags that he's a player or doesn't want a committed relationship. You have to tell yourself that that is NOT what you want. Cut the guy loose when flags go up if you don't then you might start catching feelings, let allthe signs pass you then your left hurt. you want a guy who has proven to you he is genuine and actually wants to be with you. You have to tell yourself that that's what you deserve and that's what you can get if you know what you what and don't settle for lessz than what ya want even if it means being alone for a while. It will be worth it.