Keeping an option around just so you aren't alone, what do you think?

i know girls who do this. they will keep a guy around if he is pursuing her and will say "he's gone if I find someone better"while acting interested because they can't bear the idea of "not having any options" so they would not dump him unless they meet a new option first. because heaven forbid they throw out a free date.

i think it is desperate, shows a low self esteem (she is so starved for attention that she will lead a guy on just not to be alone while secretly hoping to replace him) and is quite frankly bitchy.

i only date someone I truly care for and/or have a future with. I am single now but I don't see dating the wrong guy I see no future with as smart, I see it as an obstacle because my goal is to settle down with the RIGHT person.

i go through dry spells too but when girls do this and talk to me about it I roll my eyes. first of all it's selfish to treat a guy like a "replaceable item". If you don't like him enough to see a future or possible one or you are just stringing him along so you have a date, until someone better comes along, it's lame.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Many people do this. As you say, they fear being alone, so they always have somene as an 'option' until something 'better' comes along.

    This inevitably leads to emotional scenes, possibly even violent ones, when someone eventually discovers he has been used as an 'option.'

    Sometimes, these 'options' last for years, and the eventual explosion is that much worse.

    I feel sorry for everyone involved in these situations, but especially sorry for the 'option' person, who has been USED in a disrespectful way.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • That's what I call desperate.


What Girls Said 2

  • I was told growing up to give any guy who asked me out a chance if he seemed nice, otherwise I would likely end up alone. I did this, and it led me to being very unhappy, because I wasted time trying to force myself to like "perfectly nice" guys who had tons of issues. I wasn't waiting for something better to come along though, I was trying to like just that guy because I rarely have more than one guy to date.

    It was a low self-esteem thing too, because I have lots of dry spells. I don't do it anymore, though. One guy was manipulative, looked down on me for being a non-virgin, and really pitiful, so I tried to force myself to like him and it didn't work, and he ended up taking advantage of me when I was grieving over someone's death.

  • Yeah some girls do this.Its shallow.