I don't get her anymore

I've been with my girlfriend for 8 months now. The first 2 months were great. 3rd month was shaky and she tried breaking up with me but we tried to make it work, which it did. She thanked me a few times after that for "staying and not letting her go." Last 2 months were shaky as well. Almost broke up again, but we didn't.

Here's what I don't get. There are periods where she will text me/call me randomly just to talk, which is great. Then there are periods where I have to text her just to see what's up, and her replies are usually not as enthusiastic as they usually are.

She says things like, "I'm so glad I met you...greatest thing that's happened to me in some time." Then days later it stops and she'll go blank on me. Recently she hasn't texted or called me as often.

I get the feeling that she's losing interest, but she still says things that say otherwise.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Lol ...ya know...not for nothing rosita made a good point.
    But, I would say she probably just want you to reciprocate some of the feelings. It's nothing wrong with you seeking her out every so often. Also it makes her feel like you care too. Just how she makes you feel special when she seeks Ur attention. She probably want to feel the same way. So show her some attention. Switch off on the affections sometime it's healthy for a relationship...seems like she spoiled you ;-). Lol. Share the love...u guys are fine. Good luck

    • Trust me, I'm the one showing affection, opening up, dropping the "I love you" bombs (it's been months, she's said it twice and stopped and I say it every once in awhile).

      Problem is, whenever I try being the one to start the conversation, it takes her hours to reply or call back. So, I just stop(ped) eventually.

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    • It's almost scary how accurate your responses are. Thank you for the help :)

    • Well hope I didn't scared you to much. But your welcome. Hope it works out for you . :-).

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • There's no issues here. 1)A girl gets tired of seeking a guy out. You gotta be looking for her. She shouldn't be begging for your attention. 2) She used to give you every detail. Girls get tired of being the ones talking. How about you tell her details about what YOU are up to and Who YOU see? Like seriously, c'mon. 3) Maybe she's bipolar? Some days she's upbeat. Others she's not, and doesn't want to involve you in her depressing down days.

    • Thanks for the advice, maybe I should have gone into more detail.

      1. She isn't "begging" for my attention, she has it and she knows it. Whether there are 2 or 50 people around us, she's always the one I'm focused on. I pick up when she calls, reply when she texts, and take the time to tell her when I can't do either (she does not do this). Trust me..she has my attention.

      2. Been there, done that. Felt like she got bored of it so I started telling her when she asked. I do still tell her randomly

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    • Thing is, we've talked about all of this and came to a few agreements. But it seems like the problem remains, without her actually saying it remains. She still calls me by my pet name, makes plans for us, and so on. But something just feels different now.

    • Relationships do evolve. Once the initial attraction wears off. You can't stop wooing her. But sometimes, people do drift apart :/

What Guys Said 1

  • It's over; she just hasn't officially ended it yet. The first time she tried to end the relationship (three months in), you should have taken the hint and moved on. Instead, you've chosen to endure five more months of an emotional roller coaster. Why would you do that to yourself? There's no point in trying to stay with a girl who has made it clear on numerous occasions that she doesn't want to be with you.

    • Please re-read my post, that isn't quite what I said. She tried ending things due to other issues that piled on top of our relationship. Things were great for a good 2-3 months, amazing I would say.

    • I read every word of your post. Just the fact that she tried to end things is a BIG red flag by itself. A girl who is really feeling it for you would want to stay together, no matter what else was going on.