I think I am obsessed with this girl but have no way of getting to her, help please!

So basically, I was really head over heels for this girl in my class, we were really young, I told her I liked her a bunch of times yet she would always turn me down, and from what I hear it's because she didn't see the point in having a boyfriend at that age (we were very very young).

Fast forward maybe 8 or 9 years. I haven't talked to her in that long, and I had moved away from home for college, dated a few girls for long periods of time. However, through all this time I haven't been able to get her out of my head, I have constant dreams about her and once in a while a picture of her pops up on Facebook and just makes me ache.

I'm back home now, and find out that she still hasn't dated anyone. We have no friends in common right now.

It might be an obsession,but to my eyes, she's the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, and as I recall and have confirmed, astoundingly smart, so at least I want to give it a try.

I don't want to seem slimy by sending her a Facebook message of "hey, long time no see, what's up?" and besides, that's just not me.

Anybody want to give me a hand with this? I've had enough of waking up from dreams about her and feel devastated after realizing she's not there.

I forgot, we used to be really good friends while at school...while I was totally nuts for her.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • You're building this up to extreme proportions in your mind.

    A) You don't know much about this girl other than she's attractive. A TON can change in 8 or 9 years. Remind yourself that right now, she is just a fantasy girl. You desire he looks carnally and have made up the rest to into the girl of your dreams. Remind yourself that. Building this up into epic proportions will only make you act strange. Infatuation is like being high on cocaine, when it comes to what it does to our brains.

    B) If you were as good of friends as you say, messaging her shouldn't be a big deal. Focus on catching up at first and seeing what she's all about. Try to remind yourself that this is mostly fantasy based on what she looks like, NOT love. I keep saying that because we all get ourselves into horrible situations when we let our lust lead us into obsession

    Also, females like to be valued for more than what we look like and a few superficial facts that guys store to rationalize chasing us for what we look like. Yeah, yeah ... we realize that's what you're all about. But trying to keep it in mind that we want a partner who really tries to get to know us and isn't just obsessed with holding a wet dream idol in his arms... It takes some objective thinking. Guys tend to fall in this visually-driven romantic haze farther into adulthood than females do. I've been infatuated and it really makes you lie to yourself about things and also can get you into situations where you waste a lot of time and energy. It could also lead to a relationship -- but if you want it to, you have to get to know the real her, not the dream version.

    Keep an open mind, focus on evaluating if she's an overall catch and just take it slow. Breathe.

    • I do realize of the above. My difficulty comes from even though I understand that, I still feel all of this and, as I said above, maybe it is an obsession, but at least I want a way to prove so. Thank you very much for your response! You are probably right.

    • Like I said, I've been there before. The fact that you're obsessed doesn't mean that it's improbable that you two may get together ... but that if you DO get together, it will not be your fantasy. It will be with this real life girl, who is going to be very different and have her own unique interests, perspectives, history, temperament, etc.

What Guys Said 0

Be the first guy to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

Loading... ;