Should I be less shy and more open around him basically?

I'm 17 in my first relationship, he's a very mature 16 year old.

He's really smart no joke, and sweet, and we are pretty good friends, though we still have our separate lives. We go to each others houses, hike, he helps me with everything, and loves to cuddle me. He likes my parents, and I like his, he comes over for dinner, he cooks for me, he loves my pets, he helps my family, we kiss a lot and hug and he loves cuddling me. We aren't really that sexual either

but he has seen me nude (we sorta fooled around, not sex. We're both virgins)

I'm constantly reading that you have to lead them on or that chase thing or something of that nature. I AM NOT clingy or anything, but I keep seeing these dating standards and stuff, but me and him are sorta open and best friendish with each other. Should I still apply these rules to him?

I think he gets upset because I don't text him first a lot, or he gets shy about eating in front of me (I don't eat a lot and he thinks he shouldn't as well I think) and I get nervous about inviting him to hang out when he usually invites me. But My aunt said "you never invite him to anything he probably thinks you don't like him sometimes"

I noticed that when I started being more open and affectionate he seemed happier and did the same.

My mom says well if he's already seen you naked, there really isn't a point in being nervous about texting or asking him to hang out? Guys have feelings like girls"

So should I just basically be more blunt and open with him? I know boys have feelings just like girls do, we're human. He's really a sweet lovable guy also, he tells me he loves me and he is protective and super gentlemanly.

But why have these dating standards? Are these meant for people who don't know each other or something?


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What Girls Said 1

  • Dating standards are kind of general. They don't apply to every relationship. Sure, sometimes they are a good idea, but you have to make these things work for you. Your relationship is not going to be exactly like any other, therefore, the rules and standards won't necessarily apply to every relationship or what one should or should not do in their relationship.

    Whatever you think seems to be working for the two of you? Then do that. But don't do something you're not comfortable with just because someone somewhere down the line decided it was a good idea in a relationship. As for being more open and initiating things between you two? Go for it. It can't always be entirely the guys job. I get not wanting to act clingy (in fact, please don't) but if you act too distant or leave it all up to him, he could begin to think you're not into him.