Should I take the risk or should I say nothing?

I had a very close male friend for 6 years, we did everything together, including cuddling, holding hands,we used to tell each other everything, although we never had a romantic relationship, because he is in a relationship, although from what he told me he wasn't happy and with the way he behaved towards me, I always believed him, because I feel if you're happy in a relationship, you don't cuddle and hold hands with someone other than your partner,

We had a serious falling out 4 years ago, because I liked and wanted him as more than a friend so was honest about my feelings, because he asked me if I had feelings for him, and at first I said to him he wasn't mine to have feelings for, but then I admitted I did. Then he told me that if I ever talked to him about my feelings for him, he would tell his girlfriend, so I walked away, I deleted his number and got rid of everything that reminded me of him, and I moved on with my life got new friends, started at college, went out more, I cut him out of my life completely because he had started everything between us, it was him who cuddled me first and held my hand, but yet turned it round as if it was my fault, when he was as responsible as me.

Anyway 6 months ago, we ended up back in contact through a mutual friend, after 4 years of complete silence, we talk for a few minutes if see each other and there has been a few text messages exchanged as well, the thing is I realized my feelings for him haven't gone away,but after what happened the first time around I would never ever tell him or even act on those feelings, especially as he is still with his girlfriend, but I've found out that he's moving away this week, so we won't be seeing each other again, I wanted to text him to say that I will always be there for him if he ever needs a friend, but I'm scared to in case he thinks I'm after something from him, because I'm not, I just want him to know that I care, and that I would still like us to stay in some sort of contact, I'm scared he'll take it the wrong way and get angry with me, and we'll end up where we were 4 years ago, not speaking again, I don't know what to do for the best, should I just let him walk away and say nothing or should I send the text saying I'll still be there if he ever needs me? Any advice will be appreciated thanks.


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What Guys Said 2

  • he s walking away anyway, so why not sending the message?

    I think it would be hard to believe (not trying to downplay your words) that you after all this time, and after all that went wrong and UNFAIR find still that "feelings are still there", I don't think you are really into him, since probably after all those years you are not the same girl and he is not the same boy, so is not like "nothing has changed" I think everything has changed, BUT it remains as if nothing changed because you were "cut out" of the picture before you could find closure, so that chapter of your life remained open, you buried it far way, but past catched up, and yes, you find the chapter STILL open, but rather than taking the chance at closing it, you spent the last 6 months staring at the open and thinking "what ifs", now if he goes away, it will be the same, case remains open, and you are left with a bunchs of "should haves", no! you close this thing, for good or for bad, but close it, let him think whatever he wants to think and react however he wants, becuase he won't be here anyway, so what?, YOU speak your mind (and heart), you do as you want, get everything out of your chest and let him walked away pleased or tormented or unsure, while you can get out of this WHOLE and satisfied BUT still being "kind and lovely".

    • Thanks for your reply, I think you might be right, so I've decided I will send him the message.

    • Show All
    • Thanks, yes it helps, a big hug to you to.

    • cheer up :) still hugging

  • Take the risk. It's better.


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