What makes a guy changes his mind so quickly?

Lets put it this way, this guy has been chasing me for a month, he wanted to be my boyfriend so bad, and has high sexual desire over me... we exchanged pictures, texted constantly at night, everything from normal talk to dirty talk... finally we met, for 10 minutes (we were supposed to have a date that day but it has to be cancelled), because he was in rush but he still made an effort to come and see me, he waited outside of my office just to meet me for the 1st time. we barely get to talk properly at that moment, because he was in rush to go to attend some matters, but at least we get to exchanged a peck on the cheek before he left. Later that night, he didn't contacted me anymore until today, which is the 2nd day after that day we met. I'm assuming that he lost interest in me, because I sent him text asking how is he, what's happening like why he didn't reply my text, and he nvr replied. In total, I sent him one hi text, another long text after 6 hours, and another long text today to ask what is the problem, why is he shutting me down. I got it that he's not that into me anymore, but what I don't understand is, how can a 10 minutes meeting changes everything? FYI I'm not ugly, I'm no beauty queen either, but he knew what to expect as he has seen my pictures. I know for a fact I presented myself well, clean and all (quite a number of guys are interested in me actually). So what do you think is happening? I'm really curios as why he lost interest, there was once similar case happened back then with a guy, but I know that guy back off because he knew he's not going to get me into bed with him. But this guy? He knew I'm slightly hard, but he knew for a fact that I like him too and he's the one who accepted all my conditions before hand (like I told him no sex before marriage, but we will make out and he's so looking forward to that 1st date that was cancelled so he could get to kiss me for the 1st time). So I'm not sure what's going on? Why he suddenly back off in this way? Any ideas?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He is in a rush in many ways! Most likely he had another date with someone else that didn't set such strict...preconditions! The 10 minutes were enough for him to decide to chase someone else, probably online dating...

    Only a guess, but going from hot to cold so quickly means he must have..other priorities!


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What Guys Said 2

  • It would be finding a new girl.

  • Loads of possibilities here. Let's go through some of them, and maybe something will make sense to you.

    1) Is it possible that your body type is not what he was expecting? Some girls have a tendency to avoid showing they are pear-shaped in photos, or describe themselves in a flattering way when a guy would basically look at her and go "Too fat".

    2) (And in my opinion the more likely) He was in a rush (he was busy) and you have no idea how long that busy period was going to last. When he hadn't contacted you in 24 hours, you assumed he had lost all interest in you.

    That is what I as a guy, would consider "crazy" behavior . It smacks of deep insecurity and jumping to conclusions. To my mind, this tells me that you're the sort of girl who will want to check up on my 4 times a day, and if I miss a check in, you'll either assume I'm no longer interested or I'm in bed with some other girl.

    "I sent him text asking how is he, what's happening like why he didn't reply my text,"

    Yeah, asking how he is? fine. Asking what's happening? Not great but still borderline okay. Asking why he didn't reply to the text? Passed the border into clingy crazy territory.

    I've dated girls like that before. I switch off my phone for a few hours, and when I switch it on again, I've 17 missed calls and 52 SMS messages, which start off "Hey, how's it going?" work quickly along the way to "FINE THEN! I KNOW YOU HATE ME, AND I"M OKAY WITH THAT, BUT I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHY? WHAT DID I DO WRONG?" do a quick uturn back towards "I'm sorry baby, I just.. I've been crying for an hour, please call me" and finish up at "I HOPE YOU GET CANCER AND DIE! NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN!"

    When I get the hint that a girl might be one of *those* types, I run like f*** and don't look back.

    • ok 17 missed calls and 52 sms messages, that's a lot, I just sent him one hi text and 2 text on different day, 1st day asking is everything is fine, because he promised he will texted me after he left, which he didn't... and yes 2nd day text was about how I'm being disappointed in his behavior . For your information he dislikes it either when I ignore his text, what makes he thinks I'm crazy for behaving the same way then? He used to bombard me with this kind of text too before :(

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    • So believe it or not, the most *likely* explanation is that his opinion of you hadn't changed - that there was some other reason he wasn't responding to the texts, (like he was busy) and that your messages were just... jumping to conclusions.

      The only other conclusion was that you did / said something in those 10 minutes which was completely whack-a-doodle, and for some reason you're the sort of person who can't tell odd ball behavior when you do it. And that's not very likely in my opinion.

    • Ok I lol'ed at the BO part no I don't have that prob most people I've dated or even my friends told me I smell nice all the time, one of my friend described my sweat as sweet smelling... But anyway there is something fishy about this guy, I sort of buy the explanation of that marty fellow, maybe he has another arrangement waiting and possibly saw me as a hard to deal with one and decided to give up on it...

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