Wasn't Allowed to Date until Recently

So, throughout school I wasn't allowed to date until I got to college. I did break this rule once when I dated at 18, but that lasted a month and I basically had my hand held the entire time (she asked me out, she had to tell me when I should kiss her). Basically I'm a train wreck prude when it comes to it. I can't talk to girls intimately because I am essentially programmed to stay professional and talk about non-flirtatious subjects like school, news, politics, etc. I can't break this habit at all. Even when a girl talks about something intimate, I immediately try to change the subject to something PG.

I grew up in a Christian home (but I'm atheist) and I couldn't watch any movies with violence or kissing or even look at girls in bikinis or a tight dress. Oddly enough, my education on 'birds and bees' was a documentary about the reproductive system. When it came to everyday TV, I couldn't watch stuff like Pokemon, Sponge Bob, and almost everything else other people watched except for the News, documentaries, and some of the Disney Channel. A lot of the censoring went on into college because I stayed home during my first couple of years in college with no friends. But even then, I still felt like I shouldn't date because of my parents being around. But, I tried a couple of times with people I kind of knew from high school and working, but I didn't get past the first date.

Now that I am away at university, I am more flexible to date, but I feel like I am so far behind. I've had quite a few women (actually, a lot) show interest. But I can't help but look like I'm not interested, because I don't know how to look interested or how this dating thing even works. I may be able to talk to the girl, but I don't know what to do next to indicate interest. I'll introduce myself, make small talk, but nothing after that. It's not like I'm the ugly overweight troll because I exercise and I don't play video games at all even though I'm a computer programmer.

Any tips, please?


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  • One thing (among many) that you have going for you is your honesty. I would suggest that you use that. I think if you tried to do the kinds of things you feel like you're "supposed" to do, it probably wouldn't come out right because it isn't you. If you're interested in a girl who seems to be interested in you and you feel like your background is keeping you from reaching out, why not be honest with her? Let her know that this sort of thing is awkward for you or that you don't have a lot of experience talking like that. If she is expecting a suave guy who says all the right things, she's not the right one for you. A girl who finds your honesty refreshing and attractive is going to be a lot better suited to your personality. She will also cut you a lot slack and help you learn how to step past your upbringing.

  • Well, you should start talking to ladies now.