What is the difference between a girl who knows what she wants vs a pushy girl?

I'm trying a completely different approach to dating. I want to make it known to guys that I do not sleep with guys unless we're in a relationship. Of course, I'm not gonna just blurt it out or say it in a batsh*t crazy way, "I won't sleep with you until you make me your girlfriend"

When is the right time to mention something like this and how can I phrase it so he doesn't take it all kinds of bad ways? I also have a history of guys being pissed off at me after I reveal to them that I'm dating other guys. It doesn't make sense to me because we werent in a relationship. But since it happened to more than one guy (both were mad at me and didn't talk to me for a few days) I figure it is something wrong about it. But aren't you free to date other guys if your not in an exclusive relationship? what do you think was wrong about me saying I'm dating other guys? Oh and I didn't sleep with the guys (that were mad) just making out sessions and touching each other.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think I'm just honest and upfront.I've flat out told guys that I don't have sex with guys who aren't my boyfriend. I don't feel that is pushy because 1.those are my boundaries and 2.they have a choice to walk away. When I discuss dating other people I let them know I do see other ppl.they can feel however they want, but if I'm not your girlfriend then that is my right, just like they can date other girls.yeah jealousy will happen but it's something that's inevitable

    • Thank you! You are so right. What you're saying is how I'm starting to feel. Have any guy ever PRETEND to want a relationship just so they can just have sex or nah?

    • They have but usually don't last long. You have to judge by his actions even the little things give it away.he has to have a consistent history of being a good guy, not just a couple good things he's said or done. And don't immediately have sex right after he's your boyfriend because he could have lied to get what he wanted

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What Guys Said 2

  • I think the best way to bring it up is really as early as possible, "I'm currently looking for a exclusive relationship material right now."

    It is totally appropriate. It gets rid of the false pretenses bull and saves everyone time. A lot of guys, no matter what they are looking for, will appreciate it. The kind who don't want it will know to keep walking, and the kind who want the same will know its time to consider investment.

    • Do you think that some guys will pretend to want the same thing just so he can have sex with me or nah? How can I tell he ONLY wants sex? A guy in high school that I was messing around with would say stuff to me to make it seem like we were in a relationship but now that I'm older it's so obvious that it was not a relationship. Do guys who's past their teenage years still do stuff like that?

    • There are guys who falsely use the relationship card to gain sex. A young virgin still trying to land some may do it. Older players might too. I do think though that in this day and age, sex is pretty common because both males and females are pretty willing to give it, and sometimes without much in the way of standards. I think a man who understands this (if you can find a way to tell) will not need to lie you.

  • You can know what you want, it's just how you act with that knowledge.

    On the one hand, you can have quiet confidence. On the other, you can be a pushy ass bitch.

    Or you can be in the middle, a confident, but not pushy girl.

    • Ooh. I like the way quiet confidence sounds and your right about its how I act with that knowledge. play along: say we're dating and you're into me but we haven't had sex and you initiate me coming to your house to "chill" after you have made other sexual initiations before and I say something like, "I have this thing where I won't sleep with a guy unless he's my boyfriend." what will your reaction be? would you still keep in touch or move on..mind you you're into me. so what would you do?

    • There's two types of guys, Type A and Type B.

      Type A only wants sex.

      Type B likes relationships.

      I'm type B. In fact, I like that you have standards when it comes to sex. I would respect you for making such a commitment to standard. I actually hold the very same logic and standard for myself.

      But mind you, not all guys are like that. Some guys would probably try to persuade you, or, if anything, just drop you and go after another girl.

What Girls Said 1

  • A pushy girl pushes her views on others while a girl who knows what she wants does as implied but doesn't care if others do likewise.

    Yes you are free to date others if you're not exclusive. I think guys think of it more as "I can date others but she is only dating me"

    Say something like "I'm not comfortable having sex without being in a relationship" or something if he brings it up. He probably will..

    • Thank you! I'm just gonna not mention dating other guys because it just never goes well. I think I will use the "not comfortable" line though because that describes me right now.