My best friend (of the female persuasion) told me she wanted to have a summer fling with me, just casually making out. She originally said she wanted to kiss other people as well, but later on she started getting really flirty and she told me I was the only person she wanted.
I have never kissed anyone, so this was a big deal for me, and she knew that. She said she wanted to make it as special as possible. She started wearing special outfits I liked, and she sent me pictures (clothed) of herself with (and I quote) "extra boobage" because she knew I liked it. :P
However, before we ever had the chance to start our fling, another guy drove her home, and she made out with him. She had kissed him a few months prior but she didn't date him because after their kiss he stopped communicating with her and she felt used. But now not only did she make out with him, but she let him feel her boobs UNDER her shirt.
She told me this, and she said she didn't feel guilty about it either. This really hurt me, because she led me on and made me feel like I was special, but then she went farther with this guy in one night than she ever said she'd go with me. I even asked if I could go that far with her and she said "no, I don't want to take away your innocence" even though she once said she wanted to have SEX with me! What?!
I told her I was disappointed and kind of angry, and she got really mad, and she refuses to speak to me. She says to give her space until this Friday to see if she forgives me. I don't understand why she's angry at ME, when she led me on. I think I have a right to be frustrated because now she says that she doesn't really want to have a fling with JUST me, she wants to make out with everyone she likes.
I think that I have a right to be exclusive with her, and she led me on to believe that she wanted to too. Now she's irrationally angry at me and I don't understand why.
Here are my questions:
-Did she lead me on?
-Is my anger/disappointment justified?
-Is HER anger with me justifiable? Or is it because she feels guilty?
-Should I still make out with her? I want to, but honestly only because she's very attractive.
-Should I only make out with her if the fling is exclusive?
-Why do I feel like this other guy 'won'? Did he? And would I have to go as far with her to say I 'won'? Why am I thinking this way?
Thank you for reading and I'd love some answers! :)
- She led you on. You should no longer make out with her, especially since it's your first kiss.Vote A
- She led you on, but there is no harm in still making out with her because first kisses don't matter.Vote B
- She led you on, and you should make out with her only if she agrees to be exclusive with you because it's your first kiss and you deserve a relationship.Vote C
- She did not lead you on. What she did was justifiable, but you shouldn't make out with her at this point because it's your first kiss.Vote D
- She did not lead you on, but you are not 'special' to her. With making out with her you'd be 'just another guy', but first kisses don't matter.Vote E
Most Helpful Guy
B/C: She led you on, but you are not 'special' to her. With making out with her you'd be 'just another guy', but first kisses don't matter.
She's manipulating you, dude. She can tell you're totally into her and she's getting off on teasing you. She hasn't any right to treat you poorly for being angry with her, because your anger is justifiable based on what she told you; she's saying one thing and doing another.
HOWEVER, you two never agreed to be in a relationship. You were just supposed to be make-out partners. So showing your disappointment isn't going to get you anywhere, because you have no claim on her.
Sure, make out with her. But she's clearly set the precedent that you are not exclusive, so keep looking for a real emotional attachment other than your best female friend.
Yes, the other guy "won." You can still "win" too, but you have to raise the stakes. Just f*cking go up there and take that kiss, don't let her choose the time & place. Push the boundaries. Keep up the make-out practice sessions. Go for some boob, get physical.
All the while, be actively dating and looking for a "real" girlfriend. When she sees that you're independent and strong-willed enough to resist her mind games, she'll flock to you (but by that point, you may not even want her anymore). Once you find a real relationship and forget about her entirely, she'll be sorry she played you.2