Do nice guys that finish last try to date girls out of their league?

Meaning, the girls that tend to leave them for 'jerks' were too good for the nice guy or below his standards.

I know a bunch of girls that would love to date a well-balance, mentally stable, and fun nice guy (notice that I didn't just say nice guys). I know that there are a bunch of other girls that would love to have that kind of guy around.

That's I wonder if nice guys try to chase girls that wouldn't be interested in them and never try to find that would be.

  • No.
    Vote A
  • No, the guy just isn't well-balance, mentally stable, or fun
    Vote B
  • Yes, the girl is too good for him
    Vote C
  • Yes, the girl is terrible for him
    Vote D
  • Other
    Vote E
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Do nice guys that finish last try to date girls out of their league?

    In my opinion it's "Yes, the girl is too good for him" as I find most guys try to date out of their league yet they may have successful because of their looks, wealth, status, personality, etc unlike nice guys who often have nothing to little to offer than being nice. Being nice to someone a person wants something from isn't as super snowflake special as it seems all nice guys seem to think it is.

    " I wonder if nice guys try to chase girls that wouldn't be interested in them and never try to find that would be."

    In my experiences that's almost always the case the nice guy is interested in a gal that isn't interested in him and he thinks it's because of his niceness when it is likely because of his looks, wealth, status, or personality.

    I've actually matched nice guys up with comparable gals that liked them aka fat ugly guys with fat ugly gals or average guys with average gals and in all cases the nice guys whined the gals were not hot enough and that there was no point to being a nice guy because they have to settle in looks.


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What Guys Said 9

  • The thing about "nice guys" is they're rarely nice. Generally spiteful, whiny, entitled, little douches.

    The main conclusion I've come to about these "nice guys" is that they're an oxymoron. If they were well in fact nice people, simply being kind to others should be enough reward for their efforts. But it's not about that, it's about their purely undeveloped view and fear of women.

    Nobody dislikes a person who's nice to them. Who doesn't like having a person treat them well? That's why these guys get "friend zoned" or "finish last", because they're expecting a woman to fall into their arms with unrelenting lust because they gave them a compliment. In reality sure those women appreciate it, but that doesn't mean they're going to be sexually attracted to them for it.

    Again, they like to play on the "women go for personalities" line. Which has some degree of truth to it I suppose. The thing about that particular way of thinking is that you actually need to have a personality. If simply "being a nice person" is your key characteristic, you're not going to get far.

    My friend's boyfriend is a genuinely kind person, but he's also a total character. They didn't hook up by him being her spineless doormat, or a continues rain of sickeningly sweet displays of affection. He courted her like a man should court a woman

  • lol any girl who thinks they're "too good" for a guy isn't worth dating a piece of sh*t. Just saying. That is, if they think they're "too good" for a real nice guy. If anything, they're probably shallow bitches.

    As for those who don't believe "nice guys finish last" well, Science has done many studies on this and found, ya, girls do prefer those who have a**hole traits (or as science has dubbed it, the Dark Triad).

    • err first line should be

      "lol any girl who thinks they're "too good" for a guy isn't worth dating themselves and is a piece of sh*t."

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    • I just don't listen to scientific 'research' that 'research' on petty topics like this.

      I don't need to pay experts why men and women do stuff, I can just research that FOR FREE. -_-

    • Science researches anything and everything. Nothing is "petty" to science. If you think anything is, you're not being truly scientific. And by decades ago you mean over a hundred years ago? Before the scientific method was truly created? ya... not a great idea to compare those different eras of sciences and claim because the past was flawed that the present is just as flawed. That would be a false analogy fallacy.

  • This whole "nice guys" and "girls date jerks" drama is so goddamn pathetic!

    People fail to understand that girls are not some sort of overworldly, all-perfect angels.. I have to fix - the MOST of girls >;) they're just people, just like everyone

    If you complain that a girl left you for a jerk - check out aren't you chasing the wrong kind of girl! Check out if she's not by any chance a drunken, smoking single-mother party whore

    The answer to your question is sorta-yes, they chase girls who are not meant for them, but not (necessarily) because she's 8 and he's 4 appearance-wise, but because their personalities simply are not in-sync

    • "Check out if she's not by any chance a drunken, smoking single-mother party whore"

      LMAO! That made my day, omg!

  • i said they aren't really stable, I doubt most girls that somebody would consider out of their league is more about their own self image as opposed to what others see of them. so I said b

  • I've put a lot of thought into this and it's a very complicated subject. There's plenty of misunderstanding on both sides of the issue. I wrote an article about this. If you're interested in my viewpoints, it's in the Story section of my profile.

  • Guys who self identify as 'nice guys', when they are your age, almost all girls are out of their league.

    Well balanced, mentally stable and fun? That describes what, maybe 5-10% of young adults, tops?

  • No such thing as a league.

  • I have a problem with this mindset. I think it's because girls feel the need to be superior to some people and why not assert that over guys that aren't having any luck.

    Of course, they are going to go after girls that they find attractive. Who doesn't? However, I think it's absurd to think they are going after model type girls. I repeat myself on this next part entirely too often on here, but it seems like people don't take average into account anymore. Everyone is apparently ugly or super beautiful. Average exists. I know I'm attracted to 'average' women and I know most guys are as well. There's also "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." I know that my friends felt so-so about girls that I thought were beautiful and I've felt the same way about some their crushes.

    Anyway, the problem, in my opinion, is that some guys put all of their eggs in one basket. They'll find a girl they find attractive and think is cool and they just focus on her. If she doesn't happen to return the favor, it's going to be devastation. It's hard for girls to really understand because they hardly ever do any of the approaching, but imagine doing that a couple of times. You are going to get upset and you're going to complain. Why shouldn't they? I think everyone is aware the most younger girls do go after a certain type of guy that not everyone can fit into. That being said, I don't think most people should assume that you can't get a girl if you are a "nice guy." It's certainly possible.

    • If a guy's going to be that heart broken about being rejected, he needs to be happy being single for awhile. It's the same thing I tell my female friend "If you're that upset over a dude, you don't need a boyfriend. You need to be happy with yourself."

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    • I don't agree. It's like anything else. If you set your sights on something and fail, it's going to hurt. Saying they should be happy with being single for a while is unreasonable. Not all guys are players. Not all of them can let rejection roll off of their backs.

      It seems to be true, doesn't it? That's who the girls on here obsessively try to put down. I stand by my statement. However, I will say it's not just girls that do that. Most people do that, but we're talking about nice guys at the

    • moment.

      I don't really get your second part there. We're bullying girls that are down on their luck and talking crap about this guy? I just need a little more elaboration on that.

      Also, the link you provided goes to what I was talking about before. Why is that you assume all of them or even most of them are like that? Like I said, it's completely reasonable for people to aggravated about being rejected. Perhaps you've never been rejected? That's the only way it would make sense.

  • Nice guys don't finish last; nice guys who lack confidence finish last. And in my experience, there is no such thing as "out of my league." There are women who are interested in me, and there are women who aren't. That's all.

    Whenever a woman chooses to be with a "jerk" or "bad boy" type, it's usually because he's a confident guy who knows what he wants in life and goes for it. But choosing the right person is more of an art than a science; as Katy Perry said in an interview the other day, "I do have to figure out why I am attracted to these broken birds."


What Girls Said 4

  • I guess that they complain because they aren't really nice and have a terrible personality and feel entitled to any girl/guy their choice.

  • Honestly, a "nice guy" who isn't truly kind and is mentally unstable shouldn't be dating period, and if a stable girl leaves him for a stable guy (well-balanced and fun are reasonable traits to want as well) she upgraded.

    • So, I chose B. Or, the guy isn't genuinely nice; he could bs a jerk with a "nice" (aka fake, passive-aggressive) exterior.

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    • They believed that they were "nice" and "different" because they weren't openly mean and did chivalrous things like holding doors open and buying flowers, but it was a-ok for them to be racist, misogynistic, passive-aggressive liars with issues so dep that Freud would be scratching his head.

  • Of course

  • Yes because they think that's all they need to be successful with women. WRONG!

    I find the poll results hilarious. It seems "nice" guys don't want to take responsibility for their own actions. Seems like they aren't so "nice" after all.

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