How would you take response...

I'm friends with an amazing guy who is very shy and has a hard time expressing himself to women.. I can't say I would mind if we were more than friends. He is one of the rare good ones. He helped me out with an amazing favor doing something most people would not just jump to do. So I am questioning his interest level.. anyway so I texted him a thank you and said if it weren't so late I'd ask you over to give you a kiss... up to this we had been back/forth texting but to this no reply. Next day I sent text with update on what he helped me with - he replied - good sign he is still talking to me. I was worried my forwardness would scare him off.. so I texted and said I know it was late but you went silent.. hoping it would give him opportunity to respond to my putting it out there. He replied with I fell asleep, it was late, I had to be to work really early... I then sent oh good I thought I had upset which he did not respond. Now I know he was still working so I get that he may not have been able/willing to have that convo then but.. two questions 1. How would you take that response? He neither confirmed or denied the request still leaving me to wonder.. and 2. Now it's up to him to take initiative to respond.. I don't want to pester but same time He is so not good at initiating convo (very shy). What would you do... ?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well he buried the kiss opportunity for now, the reasons could have guesses but the answer why is of no matter for now. You can build on this opportunity slowly over time until he either can't resist or gives up the answer ... that possibly could be hurtled.

    Until then, you can still work on the payback thanks in other ways just as intimate. Such a hard worker, so sleepy needs a relaxing night with all his cares/needs attended by you alone. Think about it. No need to be so direct with this guy.

    • BA? Thank you - SOMETHING must have happened, care to tell all?

    • Lol...took the laid back indirect approach :) he is a very shy guy but actions always speak louder than words. Sometimes its not what they say but what they do.

    • Apparently what he DID was A+ ... comments?

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What Guys Said 5

  • He didn't see the need to respond to "oh good I thought I had upset you" because you didn't include a question.

    He should have said something about getting a rain check on the kiss, or something like that, to keep that tone going forward. The fact that he just ignored that message is a sign that you need to scale back a bit.

    If I were you, I would stop texting him. That means, completely stop communicating until he initiates. I don't care how shy he is, you basically gave him an invitation to come over to your place for a "kiss." That's international code for "let's f***." Ok, maybe that's not exactly what you had in mind for that particular night, but that's ultimately where that line of thought takes us after a few good dates, so let's not mince words.

    So... if he didn't choose to pick up on that blatant come-on, it means you haven't built up enough attraction. He needs to be more interested in you first - if you keep throwing yourself at him, it will push him away. But you definitely can't be initiating dates or even contact at this point. You kind of have to... disappear... for him to start wondering where you went to, and why you haven't texted. Then, when he finally does text, you can respond in a way that invites him to continue the conversation. Let him initiate, though, even if he's shy.

  • I would never start on kissing with a shy guy. Instead, I would try to come closer to him by asking him for a cup of coffee, then dinner, etc. Knowing him better would help and may open him also. You never know his commitments so better go slow and know him and then see what happens. Also, tell him frankly that you like him and want to know him more.

  • If he's interested in going to another level with you, the kiss would be like rubbing salt into a wound. Or, if he's not interested, it would be just another text and he'd roll over and go to sleep.

    It's your call...

    • I don't understand your comment, like rubbing salt into a wound? Because he's shy do that was too forward of an invite?

    • If he wanted to move to being your boyfriend, then teasing him about a kiss would just raise his hopes and hurt his feelings at the same time. If he didn't care much about you, then it wouldn't matter at all.

  • Next time he comes to your place, wear a bikini. Problem solved

  • Honestly? This sort of crap is *pointless* when you are doing it over text.

    You can't tell someones reactions from text. All you can do (as you're demonstrating) is drive yourself nuts second guessing his reactions and thoughts and opinions.

    Here's the simplest rule for you - stop trying to flirt over text. You don't know how. Your female drive to be subtle will cripple the mediums need for objective clarity and make any text message you craft seem like a statement which doesn't need a reply.


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