GUYS ONLY answer: What is the first message you send to a girl on a dating site that results in meeting up?

I have tried "Hey, how's it going", I have tried a witty joke based on what's on her profile, I have tried being super assertive and asking them out on the first message, and of course no f***ing responses.

They all look at my profile and respond to winks and such, but they never actually write back. What the hell is going on? My looks aren't an issue and I have made my profile seem laid back and no obvious faults (studied other guys' profiles and went from there).

This is really pissing me off, lol

Update: I put a lot of thought and effort into my profile. By laid back, I mean that I don't seem like some super-intense, uptight stingy guy (because well, I'm not). I incorporated a lot of humor into it and shared a lot of my interests that are generally well-received by females.


Most Helpful Guy

  • "Where are you from originally?" is a good conversation starter and it usually works.


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What Girls Said 3

  • When I tried online dating, I always appreciated guys who added details of my profile to their first message, like "How long have you ridden horses? I have an aunt who owns them" or "That's awesome you listed laser tagging as your ideal first date."

    I was less impressed with guys who opened with a joke or something else that could be easily copy/pasted. And I didn't even bother to reply to guys who said "Hey what's up" or something. It suggests he didn't even read my profile and just messaged me because of my picture. and the first message, I like to know what it is about me that he's interested in.

  • I know you said guys only but I've done online dating and I can share some that worked. Mind you, I sent the first message.

    "I have to ask, how did an Arts major end up as a mechanic? Cute horse by the way, and the rider looks good too." - Met him, still talking to him and hopefully seeing him again soon, this happened 2 months ago.

    "Saw you did plowing matches, ever compete in (town name)? Nice heifer, and smile too, so many guys are way too serious showing LOL." - Met him a week later, ended up not really attracted to each other.

    Is your profile too laid-back? One of the guys (mechanic) had a really detailed profile. The farmer had maybe 6 lines. A lot of guys don't put anything on their profile that would interest a girl. Sure, he hunts and fishes and drives a huge truck, but that doesn't tell me anything about him.

    • What the f*** is with this girls who can't read? If a girl sends the first message it makes all the difference. GUYS ONLY...jesus lol

    • The thing is, a girl that sends a message to a guy on a dating website is way different than vice-versa, especially if you compliment him in your first message about his look. He'll answer back because he'll think you'll be an easy lay.

      If a guy sent you a lazy-ass message like you did, you wouldn't even bother to respond. It only looks like you've read one or two lines of his profile...

  • I know you said guys only so I'll be very short. Never ever start with hi or "Hey, how's it going", always talk about something she said in her profile

    As for your profile, maybe too laid back? Do you somehow come across as a slacker, irresponsible or just not ambitious, enthusiastic and stuff like that?

    • I don't care what girls have to say. They give all their advice on their profile on what they like, how they want to be pursued, who should message them and even if I honor all of that, they still take a sh*t on me.

    • well here come across as very rude and angry, if you're like that with online dating, I see where they're coming from

    • Yeah, when I wrote that I was rude and angry I'll admit. When I want to write a message I make sure I'm in an upbeat mood and I never come across that way.

What Guys Said 0

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