How many dates shold you give someone til you give up?

I met this guy and he's nice, funny, smart and attractive. However, maybe it feels like we're going to fast, but I think he's really into me and I'm... not sure yet still?

On Saturday we went to lunch and then walked around for a while. The time kind of flew by and it wasn't that it was hard to be around him, but I often felt like I had no idea what to say...

On the other hand, I could say, act, totally be myself around him which was nice.

We went on a second date yesterday. I really wanted to go to this parade and I had no one to go with... so on a whim I invited him. It was a really fun parade! I'd say for the first hour and a half we were just laughing and amazed at everything we saw! It was a gay pride parade ha, so maybe a bit much for a second date, but I really wanted to go and he said yes anyway!

I could tell he wanted to kiss me... he kept looking at my lips the way guys do... at the end of the date, he kissed me! Not once, but twice! It was really hot outside (85-90) and we were both kinda sweaty ha. I tried to avoid the kiss by giving him a hug, but he persisted anyway haha. He even held my hand while we walked! Anyways, it was an awkward kiss... kind of? Like I wasn't expecting it really? and then he did it twice!?

Idk, he's nice, fun, funny and I can be myself... but I don't really feel any connection yet. How much more do I wait? I know that I find him very very attractive so I think I'd fall into the lust trap if we went any further before I really decided my feelings.

I don't know! I just don't know what he sees in me and how he can decide so soon! He's a fit, athletic, attractive guy and I'm a little more average, curvy to overweight almost. Maybe he doesn't care? Or maybe it doesn't matter? Maybe he can see past that?

Idk, many things to think about! How many dates do I give this before giving up? Or should I just keep hanging out with him anyway? I do enjoy his company very much. See the thing is, I don't think I could even talk to him about this... that's how surface level we've stayed! I have no idea how to get into a deep conversation with him. He's always laughing and happy. I don't know if he can be that serious yet.

I guess I don't feel that love at first sight kind of feeling... but then again with the last guys I've dated I was friends for a really long time before we dated. I only met him like 2-3 weeks ago ish.

  • 1-2
    Vote A
  • 3-4
    Vote B
  • 5-6
    Vote C
  • 7-8
    Vote D
  • As many as it takes to feel connected
    Vote E
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Most Helpful Guy

  • lol at the anon bitch that only gives one date. Hope she never finds someone with tat kinda mindset. At least give a second date to a guy. Sometimes people don't have their full effort in the first date because they have a lot of sh*t going on in life, but they really didn't want to cancel and ruin the chance at trying.

    As for your situation? Hmm, hard to say. At least settle for being friends now while you work out your feelings. I've always found it best to be friends for awhile and get to know each other and see how you connect on just a friendly level while both work out feelings. Because, after all, lovers should be the best of friends and if you rush into dating without really knowing them that just seems silly. Do you ever rush into being "best friends" with a person you meet? No, you gradually become that. So why should it be any different for the guy (or girl) you want to spend your life with?

    I mean, it sounds like you're happy with him and could feel more, but it also seems like you might be getting in the way of your own feelings with your own insecurities or worries or concerns. So don't focus on any of that dating stuff for now and see how friendship goes and get to know each other. But make it clear it's not a "never will be more" kinda thing, just a "I want to see how this goes first" kinda thing. If he's truly interested he'll be understanding (or at least willing). If not? Then nothing really lost.

    Hope that helps.

    • Yes! This is so helpful! How do I explain that to him? Sometimes I feel like he's not that approachable. I mean, we never talk about anything serious... or we haven't yet. I just feel like I don't really know him... idk, how can be so sure to like me so soon? We've been on two dates! That's crazy. We met online too. Only like 2-3 weeks ago. Maybe that's why I'm so suspicious. I have great friends and I don't "need" a guy... so I'm just confused as to why it seems to be going to fast!

    • Show All
    • True, but if someone thinks that dating for a month is "such a long time" then they're pretty immature.

    • oh, no that's not long.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • There's no love at first sight.

    It grows. At first sight it's just "that person is as ugly as a beached whale" or "he/she is cute enough, let's give it a shot."

    Then things build. Love at first sight is for fairytale books. Attraction develops and grows over time.

    • I so agree! So keep giving this guy a shot? I don't know how he likes me so much already... probably just looks I'm guessing ha. I'm nice and all, but we've spent like 7 hrs together total.

    • Why not? And sometimes that happens. I'm often called cold and cynical, haha, but I've still met two girls I just liked a ton after a short while. One reminded me a ton of a character in a book series I loved. Another, she was a private investigator--and just so funny, shameless, sharp, even cursed hilariously! Spending time around her was a highlight of my week. Idiotic, but it happens.

    • Aw, that's nice! Well, he invited me to walk around the beach, grab dinner and watch the sunset as our 3rd date. I don't know if that seems odd or not... or fast... or totally fine and normal haha

What Girls Said 6

  • i chose 3-4 because it always happens like that. 3rd times the charm ?

    • my favorite number! :)

  • I usually wait 3-4 dates if that many

    • yeah. I think he needs more chances. He clearly likes me... but I'm just not feeling it yet. idk. I don't really believe in the first spark kind of stuff anymore. I feel like that's more lust... I feel like he's rushing to make it a relationship before we're even friends. We met online at the beginning of June and we've met in person twice. Online dating weirds me out as it is... maybe that's why I'm trying to take it so so slow.

  • around 5

  • I only date them after I've already felt a connection for a little while.

  • i give them from 3 to 4

    • hmmm okay. you just kind of know by then?

    • yees

    • okiedokie. thanks!

  • The first date