New here and hoping for some early "dating" insight...?

Hi there and thanks for reading.

I’ve been out of the dating scene for a while as I’d had many bad experiences over a few years but recently I met someone while I was out with a friend and he asked for my number and if he could take me out some time. I agreed and he’s been texting ever since.

At first this seemed really sweet, but at times it felt a little pointless too…almost as if he was just texting me out of boredom telling me what he was doing. I replied out of politeness but I didn’t really enjoy it much. I would have preferred that he called me if he wanted to get to know me before we saw each other again as texting is so impersonal.

We made plans to go for a drink on the weekend and unfortunately I had too much to drink and we ended up sleeping together. I know that this is almost always a mistake but my judgement was impaired and he was urging me not to go home and there was so much chemistry. The next day he didn’t just kick me out – he seemed to enjoy having me stay and said he didn’t regret what happened and he knows how to treat women with respect. He’s a bit older than me so I guess I would expect him to have reached emotional maturity but the fact is that he is STILL texting me as if we hadn’t met up and I’m not really happy with how it’s going but I don’t know how to change it.

I also wanted to wait for the physical side because I didn’t want it to be based on sex, but whilst he has insinuated that he wants to see me again, the only real suggestion has been a “naked movie night” which just worries me. Yes I realize we’ve slept together but we still don’t really know each other that well and I want to be made to feel special…I don’t want our future “dates” to just be me going to him and having sex. I want him to make an effort! I have tried to pull back on the flirting and responding to his texts too much but I also don’t want to upset him or make him think I’m not interested.

So what the hell do I do? I’ve made the mistake of sleeping with him too soon but I can’t take it back now. I do like him but at his age I think he should be treating me with a bit more chivalry than he is. A phone call wouldn’t go amiss instead of wasting my text messages replying to his pointless nothings. I know he hasn’t had many relationships – he was in one for 12 years but was never married or anything. Maybe he doesn’t know how he is supposed to behave? I don’t know, but I’m going to get fed up and annoyed and I’d really appreciate some advice on how to get things on the right track!

Many thanks :)

Thanks for the advice - I suppose I feel like it's too soon to bring up anything serious and I'm probably mostly just getting frustrated with his pointless text messages. He doesn't make a lot of effort to make interesting conversation and much of the time it's hard to reply to what he says! I'd rather get one or two quality messages a day than 20 pointless ones. It would probably annoy him if I told him this though so early on! I guess I'll just have to try be patient :-/


Most Helpful Girl

  • tlak to him, be honest to how you feel.


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What Girls Said 2

  • Tell him exactly what you told us. If he doesn't adhere to what makes you happy or comfortable, then he really is only looking for sex and he isn't worth it.

  • be honest about what you feel

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