Is it still possible to get her back? What is she thinking?

Hi All,

Quick background here:

I dated this girl for a little over 8 months. We had been best friends for about a year beforehand (she had a boyfriend) and we did/do work together. The entire time we dated she was reluctant to commit fully and was consistently trying to hide the fact we were dating, and spending 4-5 nights a week together.

About a month and a half ago we got into a huge fight where she decided she needed "space". In all honesty, I needed it to having become slightly obsessed trying to "prove" to her we should be exclusive. Having been in a similar position before I did not fight it and gave her all the space she required. The first few weeks there was little to no contact at all and I had no closure with someone I had been extremely close to.

Lately communication has picked up considerably. She always initiates it. But we have not hung out 1-1 since that fight. Just texts here and there and a little instant messaging. In fact, she stated a few days ago she likes being friends.

Now comes the fun part. I have gone a few dates since then and always portrayed that I've been completely fine with everything. I'm not. I miss her, she was/is my best friend and I'm still very much in love with her.

I do not know what to do. We have a lot of the same friends (most of which are still coworkers) which she has completely downgraded how serious our dating was and is apparently "talking" to someone else already although it is not serious.

Any advice here would be greatly appreciated. I know I should just "move on" but it is not that simple for me with not having any more closure than just "i need space" and working together. She was/is my best friend and we have gone from 100 to 0 in what seems like overnight. I know she cares but to what extent? I feel like the girl I dated and was best friends with for almost two years isn't the same person I thought.

Thanks for you your help.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You guys were friends, she broke up with the boyfriend and decided to try it with you. She ended up with only feelings of friendship for you, not romantic ones, hence the 'I need space'. Now, she has verbalized that she likes being friends and she is seeing someone else. Closure is a crap term. What more do you really need to know? It just wasn't there for her, there isn't a huge drawn out explanation for everything, some things really are that simple. Your closure is what YOU DO to help YOURSELF get over this. Be busy, date others, let her go. You may not be able to continue a friendship, because now you have romantic feelings for her so you really can't be her friend. You are throwing yourself a pity party here, and it's not attractive (to her either). Time to move on bub.


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What Girls Said 3

  • no, just forget about her

  • i don't think so

  • no, just move on


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