Not really sure how to read this guy.. Any advice?

My brother has been pressing me to go out with his friend's older brother because my brother thinks me and this guy are "perfect for each other". Apparently this guy has the same luck I do so my brother and his sister conjured up the idea for us to date.

So my brother convinced me to add this guy on Facebook. His name is Stephen. My brother failed to mention this Stephen dude has no idea I exist. So who looks like a Facebook creeper adding this guy out of the blue? Yours truly folks.

But somehow, after a little bit of talking (I told him how our siblings thought it would be funny if we met), we exchanged numbers and texted all day every day. This went on for a little over a month. We had kept trying to make plans to see each other but his work often conflicted. The way this kept happening sort of bugged me.

We were supposed to get drinks one night and he cancelled on me because he had to get up for training really early the next morning. Not a big deal, but I didn't see the big deal in just going out for maybe one drink and calling it an early night, y'know? I didn't let it bother me, but the second time he cancelled on our plans, I told him how I don't like waiting around, and I felt like he wasn't making a big enough effort to see me. So he manned up and made plans for us to finally get drinks before I left for Europe.

So we went out and everything was great. He was a gentleman (even opened my car door for me), and we ended up going back to his place. Things eventually led from one thing to another (if you get what I'm saying), and I ended up spending the night there. This is something I have NEVER done on a first date and I told him that.

After our date, he told his sister we went out and he told her that I was cool and she would like me (I got this intel via my brother). My brother repeatedly assured me this guy wasn't a douche, and Stephen told me he had two four-year relationships and hasn't really dated anyone in about a year. I'm like the second girl he's gone out with.

I left for Europe and was gone for two weeks, and when I got back things are sort of different. Or am I just being crazy because I like him so much? We don't text a lot anymore, and I made a move and asked him if he wanted to hang out this week, but he told me he was leaving for Italy on Tuesday for a week with his family. So I told him that if he wanted to see me Monday I was free, to which he told me he had a "ton of sh*t to do and would let me know". I didn't hear from him all day Sunday and he didn't text me until 10:30 at night on Monday, saying "You party party tonight?" Which I think he meant to say if I was out to party tonight, but I wasn't sure, to which he told me he was drinking at the bar. I said thanks for the invite and he said "pfft. could have asked. it's only midnight ;)" which really pissed me off. I said some bitchy comments and he thought I was being funny and never responded. I texted him and hoped he would have a nice trip Tues morning.

So he responded "Thanks", and I never responded from there. He's in Italy right now, and I'm taking this time to decide what to do with this dude, if I'm just being crazy and over thinking things or what. I don't really know if he's just not interested in me anymore, or if he's too busy to see me or if me sleeping with him on the first date gave him the wrong impression. But I told him I don't ever do this, I told him how I'd only ever been in one relationship prior. Just need some advice!
So.. Another dilemma! He's back from Italy now, we have been talking steadily, but we still haven't officially made plans to hang out. He invited me to come out with him and his friends for his birthday, but I couldn't go. That's a good thing, right?

When I know when I'm going to have time off from work, I'm going to ask him to hang out. Hopefully we can. Which brings me to my other problem..

I'm going to a wedding in three weeks, and I was just informed I could bring a date. Should I ask him?


Most Helpful Guy

  • This is a tough one. In my past experience, I've always been the type of guy to not really chase after a girl that lets me in without putting forth the effort too soon. I'm not trying to be mean or anything and I'm not saying he may be like that but there are a bunch of other possibilities to what may be going on.

    1. He probably is just disinterested and doesn't feel the same way you do.

    2. He may want to stay single for a while longer.

    3. Trying to leave his options open.

    4. Probably wanted to see friends before leaving and isn't ready to introduce you.

    Honestly you should wait till he gets back and see what starts from there. If it seems like he isn't putting in any effort at all then just don't ever talk to him ever again. You can do better if that's the case and everyone finds who they're looking for sooner or later. Patience is all you need, with that I'm sure you'll find what you're looking for, trust me!

    • Oh you're not being mean. Say what you want, I can handle the truth haha. I mean I'm not upset he was at the bar or with his friends or whatever, but don't text me at 10:30 and expect me to hop out of bed for you. I don't even really know what I want, I mean eventually I may want a relationship with this guy, but I just wanted to spend more time to get to know him first.. Idk.

      I'm taking this time to detach myself and when he gets back I'm not going to make hardly an effort at all. Thanks!

    • I understand, we've gotten accustomed to always being in contact with. You'll do great on your own if this doesn't work out if you didn't take a offense to any of that. Good luck! Hope you find what you're looking for! :)

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • i would just see when he comes back. and try to fill my time with other stuff.

  • i think youshould stop over thinking, the only thing that matter is what he does when he comes back from italy

    • Yeah, that's what I'm curious the most about to see how he acts when he returns. It's just hard going from talking to someone all the time like that and when it suddenly dies down even the slightest, you automatically assume something is wrong. I think I'm just over thinking, but we will see when he returns. Thanks a lot!

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