Am I in denial or is he?

I was dating a guy who dumped me by saying he wasn't ready for me, and he wanted to get to know me in a less stressful way by being friends and dating later down the road. He went through a really rough break up and later admitted he hasn't been able to be with anyone seriously since. He told me that I am an amazing girl and he can never express how sorry he is that he can't date me... Catch is.. We had agreed to do somewhat of a friend with benefits thing. We get along so well and have amazing chemistry inside and outside the bed that it just happened. We spent an entire weekend together and decided to buy cats together (they are at his place) and then he suddenly dropped me... He is dating someone else who... Is a 2 compared to me. And I don't understand. Am I in denial for believing he cares, or is he in denial for believing he doesn't? He's admitted to me he's never clicked well with anyone including the ex that hurt him... He admits to having a great time with me, and tells me I'm an amazing girl.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Guys don't just magically dump women because they feel like it. Guys always have a reason. Now I don't know what the reason is, but I do know that guys also will lie in order to have sex.

    So you set up the perfect scenario for without the relationship. Perfect for the time being. But that also means that if he really liked you, he would be in a relationship with you. He would push for that relationship. But why buy the cow when the milk is free, right?

    The whole time he was always looking for someone else, you were just fun and convenient at the time. And now that he is dating someone else, you're out until he figures out how to have a relationship and still have sex with you on the side. But most guys aren't that scummy.

    So are you in denial because you thought he cared? No. You're not in denial. You didn't realize what was going on. And in actuality, he did care for you somewhat. He just didn't care for you the same way you cared for him. And he's not in denial at all. He knew exactly what he was doing the whole time.

    • @Guys don't just magically dump women because they feel like it.

      sure they do. they date because they feel like it and dump because they feel like it. guys often have no reason for how they feel. they just feel without sorting out why.

      Q/A it seemed all very reasonable until we got to the part where he's dating someone else.

      i don't doubt all he said about you was honest. but he is dating someone else.. guys got emotional issues. sorry.

    • Trust me, guys don't magically dump girls. Guys always have a reason, but they don't tell you because they are often superficial reasons. I've dumped girls because I didn't like the way her nose looked or she used a word or phrase I didn't like.

      Guys don't dump girls for emotional reasons. They often cheat for emotional reasons. But they also cheat because the option is there. Guys dump girls for very specific reasons. Trust me, no guy is going to give up sex unless he has thought it out.

    • Tha be. The thing is... If he is telling the truth.. And I believe he is because he deleted her from Facebook... He went on one date with her and they didn't even kiss. I believe he is in a place where a relationship is scary for him... And I believe I am in denial that he will ever come around... I am going to his house today because we are taking our kittens to the vet. But will not be sleeping with him

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 3

  • My advice, if he's wishy washy about you, don't invest more time into something that you cannot control. Remember your good qualities and look for the same in a guy, better luck next time.

  • i think you ar ein denial becuas ehe has everythign he wants with you but still went to another girl.

  • i think he kind of played you into being fwb