Your opinion on this guy? Should I keep on dating him?

I'm doubting whether I should keep seeing this guy.

WARNING: this is long and detailed :)

*** Background information ***

We met at a club, he first met my friend and after a while got interested in me. Asked my number and told me the next day that he really liked me and wanted to meet up - we talked and he seemed like a nice guy but I said no first and he insisted. So I gave it a try.

*** First meeting ***

I don't count this as a date. He took me to the place we met and we had a drink with a friend of his. Danced, kissed a bit and it was okay - I wouldn't feel like doing it again though.

*** First - actual - date ***

We went to a park, had a nice time. Then went to his house (wasn't what we'd planned but I was fine with it), I met his parents and then we watched a film. The parents left and we spooned on the bank, kissed a bit.

Then he asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend and I said this went too fast. He accepted it.

*** Between two dates ***

He asked me to come to a barbeque with his family, asked me to a party for his parent's 25th anniversary and to a family meeting.. but I felt like it all went too quickly, so we agreed to go to the cinema.

*** Second date ***

Before we went to the cinema, he took me to his place, we hadn't decided which film we'd watch. So we checked out the films and decided, but still had two hours before it started. So we had nothing to do and watched a film on his TV in his room. He kind of made a move on me (wanted to lay on top of me).. and I said I didn't feel like that. So asked him why he liked me and I told him I didn't know my feelings for him yet.. that it takes time.

We left to the cinema and when we got out of the car he didn't touch me, hold my hand or anything. In the que not either. Not in the cinema either. I had to grab hold of his hand and he didn't give a kick.

It's weird, because he was so affectionate with me in his room.

After the film I wanted something to drink so we drove to the McDonald's, it was in the middle of the night and he walked in with me and walked out in front of me, not looking back or holding my hand, smiling or whatever.

He kissed me goodbye and that was it.

I have another date with him this evening..

Do you think I can trust him? It seems weird that he's not affectionate in public but he is at his place. And why does he move so fast with wanting to be my boyfriend?

I think I'm sending him mixed signals, but I just need time to figure out if I want a relationship with him and I told him myself too. He might think he's doing something wrong to be rejected for the family meetings and the intimacy, but it's just me being careful. He seems to take it personally, although I stated clearly that I need more time. Very frustrating.


Most Helpful Girl

  • No. I am sorry to say that you are the problem in this situation. . You are leading him on, if you don't like him why are you still going on a date with this guy?. . I think you should tell him that you are not interested him, and move on. The reason he stop doing it is because you are not taking the relationship serious (even if he is going too fast). If you decide to date him, you need to accept him as he is, and tell him to slow down, but if not than you shouldn't do what you have been doing. . That isn't fear to him.

    Sorry for being so harsh with the answer, but it has happened to me before... before you know it you will fall in love, and he will fall out of love. . And you will become heartbroken.

    good luck. :)

    • No, it's seriously just the pace that he's setting. I like to get to know him first and if he's going to fall out of love quickly because things aren't moving fast enough, so be it. He's a great guy and I like seeing him, but I've told him to slow down and I'm actually also suspicious about the affection he shows in his room but not in public. Thanks for the answer.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Is this high school or something? First date = meeting parents and asking to be exclusive seems like that otherwise it's way too fast and I would just write it off as inexperience with girls. He has a girl who likes him and he's trying to lock her down.

    I think you can trust him, from the sounds of things he's just not that comfortable with girls

    • No it's not high school .. it's college. But he still lives at home.

      Agreed, it's too fast and it's irritating me a bit. But I'll give him a chance to slow down.

    • I don't think you can send enough mixed signals to make a guy ask you to be his girlfriend on the first actual date and taking you to meet the family on the second date. It's just who he is... If a girl did that to me, I would be feeling pretty awkward about the relationship, moving way too fast.

What Girls Said 4

  • You need to set boundries with him . If he's gonna give up every time you don't do what he wants you too. Its not gonna work out. Oreven be worth trying to work out, for that matter.

    • Thanks. I think I'll give him a few more shots and I'll just see how he responds to my pace.. to see whether he'll get manipulative, because I think that's what he might be. I haven't known him very long so I'm not jumping in a relationship with him any time soon.

  • No he seem perfectly fine, I think its you not him

    • Why? I know I'm a hesitating a bit, but I just want to take things slow and see how things develop. He doesn't know me well enough to say that he really likes ME instead of the way I make him feel.

      I'm also suspicious of the affection in his room but not in public.

    • So take this slow with him, but also let him know that you

      Want to get to know him a little better before sex and getting into a relationship

      Dont move too fast, your a smart girl for wanting that, and I can tell he

      Likes you because he askd you to be his girlfriend and also invited you to family event

    • Help me out with mine, am under dating a question on top of urs

  • i would keep on dating him.

  • i don't think there is somehting wrong with you dating him