What should I do? Draw a clear distance or approach aggressively?

I used to hold a torch for this lady during my college days but soon after we graduated we lost contact with each other. Over the past 10 years, social media evolves, from traditional instant messager it became Facebook.

About 6 months before, I had a heated argument with my ex-gf and we broke up. The re-appearance of my crush had a significant impact in my life after my broken relationship. Initially, she started to “like” my posts and photos on Facebook frequently – daily basis. On my special day, it was the first time she wished me happy birthday although she was at overseas.

I reciprocal her effort and we got more comfortable. The first conversation we had is when I sought help from her. She was a polite and helpful lady who assisted and provided me with research data, she even insisted that if I require more data I can approach her anytime. Eventually, we became close online friends and we started having normal conversation with flirting signs – Emoticons ; Wink ? her favourite, “haha” in every sentence, “!” and etc. Whenever I messaged her, she would reply me spontaneously and at times even spam me with replies. We exchanged numbers and at times when I’m bored we would chat about our pasts and relate more about ourselves – she asked about my height and talked about my photos and I would provide feedbacks to her outlook and she would implement changes.

Just last week, I decided to bring our “friendship” to the next level. I initialled a causal conversation and I enquired about her relationship status – she claimed that she have a boyfriend. I managed to remain calm and pretended as though everything is normal. Even though she declared that she has a boyfriend – not sure who is it, she still texted me with flirting signs – Emoticons; Wink ? her favourite, “haha” in every sentence, “!”. Before I ended the conversation with disappointment, I asked if I could continue to text her. She replied with blushing emoticons – sure.

Now, I’m totally confused. Not sure about what type of situation I have landed myself in. Should I draw just a clear line between both of us? Or what should I do? Any advice and feedback are welcome. Thank you everyone, much appreciated.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Emoticons and text messages are barely real conversation. They should never be confused for real, human interaction.

    If you enjoy your chats with her - keep them up. To a girl who is really interested in you, having a boyfriend isn't really a stop sign.

    If you think this is magically going to turn into a real relationship - you need to start having real conversations with her.

    Escalation of your 'friendship' isn't more smiley faces..it's actual interaction.


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