Not sure what to do with him.

So, the guy I'm dating, was a couple grades behind me in high school. He knows all about my past, what I got up to..

Early on, he said it didn't bother him.. and he's always treated me well.. but lately, he's asking about making the summer one of "exploration and experimentation"

I'm pretty sure, what he wants is to live out all his fantasies and such through me.. this summer.. all the things I've done before, and then some...

I guess where my issue lies is in his skirting of the issue.. he won't be blunt.. I think he is scared of me telling him where to go..

I mean, if we do all this stuff, and he still respects me, and we keep dating in the fall when he goes back to school.. I'm OK with it.. If we were always breaking up when he goes back to school.. I might still be OK with a lot of things...

Its just.. how ambiguous he has left it.. and then skirts the issue when I try and come at it slowly from the side...

I've been with guys who truly didn't care about my past.

I've been with guys who are OK with multiple partners and sharing...

So I know this is possible...

But I'm feeling.. well... a little lost.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, I'm by no means apart of the poly crowd nor do I think either of you will emerge better people as a result of this.

    With that disclaimer out of the way, I can only think of one saying that your guy should understand.

    "Take what you want, and then pay for it."

    I am of course not refering to money, but costs of an abstract nature (relational cost, emotional cost, etc...).

    It seems you have already counted your possible costs and understand your decision.

    He just needs to estimate his costs, decide, and tell you about it. If he can't take what he wants and then pay for it, forget him...


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • It sounds to me like he's eager to try, but lacks the confidence to lead the way. He would prefer that you, as the more experienced of the two of you, lead the way.

    That way he gets his cake and eats it too, so to speak.

    Is that really what you want to do though? Be a sex teacher to an unconfident kid who won't actually teach you anything new, but will live his fantasies through you?

    I don't see what you'd get out of it.

  • Hopefully his communication improves.


What Girls Said 2

  • just follow your heart..the past is gone..i think you know your going to lose him either way,so do you have last bit of fun or choose to deny him his fantasies? after all youve had them already..CRIKEY...lucky you...

  • what is this past you mention ? it sounds magical.

    • My first boyfriend liked to share me with his friends..

      and that led to me being very DTF once I was single...