What can a guy do to make himself stand out when a girl is dating multiple people?

I've been going out on dates with a girl I work with, we're on date #3. I've been taking it slow because she just got out of a 5 year relationship with someone but I have been trying subtle hints that I am interested. This afternoon when we went for lunch, I gave her a healing candle I found in new-age silver jewelery shop I picked up on the weekend (because she hurt her shoulder a few weeks ago). Shortly after giving her the candle (during lunch), she told me a story about a date she went on recently, and the fact that a customer asked her out on a date this morning. My boss (female) who is best friends with her said she enjoyed the gift. Is her telling me about other dates a hint that she wants me to make my move? Or is this an indication that she wants to date multiple people, and she is trying to make me aware of it? How does a guy make himself stand out against other people she's dating, or thinking about dating? We have another date in 4 days, I was thinking about making my move. Is this a good or bad idea? Thanks.

Gave up on this girl figuring out she wasn't all that interested in me. I'm thinking the lack of communication was probably a bad thing. I've started seeing a different girl who actually took the time to try and get to know me.


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  • You are going through the "friend" route of which will ultimately get you burned.

    If she is telling you about other dates then it maybe too late.

    Why did you buy her the gift... because you are a "friend." That is total wuss behaviour.. serious, only wusses do that kinda thing.

    If it was your Girlfriend or just a close female friend, then a gift shows you care, but someone you like the gift shows a bit of desperation.

    I can bet you she doesn't realise it is a date..

    As for relationship with this girl my opinion is she has just came out of a long term relationship. She needs time to move on and date OTHER rebound people. Give it 5 months or so, because you have to remember they may still talk with the ex and you have little chance against him if he decides to come back.

    Her telling you about other dates means she may not be all that interested in them.

    Now the best way to stand out if you do really like her is to start saying to her how much she is a great FRIEND, how she gonna make some guy a lucky man. whilst in your head you try to find faults with her.. I don't know why but it sort of turns the table around.

    It sort of stands you out because most other guys are probably employing your wuss tactics...

    Also don't discuss relationships with your boss because that stuff may haunt you in the future.

    • It's actually not me discussing things with my boss, its her discussing things with my boss. She keeps telling her how great I'm doing and how much she is enjoying spending time with me. She also told my boss to 'back off' on telling me not to go for it because she told me to go slow to start because of her just getting out of that relationship. Everytime I ask her out, or do something for her, she tells my boss about it because they're best friends.

  • Date multiple people. Then she can ask herself the same questions you are asking yourself.

    • Yeah, I was actually seeing another girl before this one and when I got greater interest in the one from work I let the other one go. I felt bad because I was thinking about the one from work all the time. The one I let go was only a sexual relationship with no strings attached. I felt like I had a lot more potential in getting serious with the one at work.

    • What does "greater interest" mean? If you let NSA sex go because some other chick smiles at you a lot, that's a mistake.

    • Things weren't really meshing with the sex. I'm really looking for more than that, and I knew that would never happen with the girl I was having NSA sex with. And no, it's quite a bit more than 'smiles', we're 'seeing each other'. I'm starting to develop feelings for her, and didn't think it was right having sex with someone and thinking about someone else.