Need Help with Social stuff!

So my question is a little bit two sided (and long) but I hope you guys can help me out. First I'll give a little backround info on myself. I currently am involved in 2 clubs, one for business students (which my friend and I spearhead) and a Grade 9 mentorship program. I also curl on the curling team. Some of my talents include poetry, cooking, and business. I am interested in sports a lot and hope to be involved in the management of sport. I am well built, tall, (a bit of a belly) but I have been told I am handsome. I am very involed in my church and have approx 300 hrs of volunteer work with my church. Alright, now down to the nitty gritty.

I am 16 and going into senior year of high school and I think it's safe to say I have no social interaction outside of school. I consider myself a pretty cool guy but no one ever asks me to do anything outside of school or extra curriculars. Most of my friends never go out drinking or anything like that for parties but a lot of them just hang out after school or on weekend (movies, icecream, video games, etc.). Unfortunately I only find out after it happens. Is there anyway to get people to include me in their plans to hang out with them?

Part II

Somewhat similar to the dilemma in part I. I can't seem to find any girls! I can see plenty of girls but none can seem to pass my standards. Whenever I do find a girl that I might be I can't seem to get any of them interested. I tried messaging or texting but I just end up sounding creepy (my natural charisma does not seem to translate). I do want a girlfriend, someone who I can share my experiences of high school with but it seems the opposite gender does not.I have never had a girlfriend before and I want to have one before university to have some experience at least in dating.

Well thanks for reading and congrats on making it to the end!


Most Helpful Guy

  • First question:

    If you hear about events going on before they occur, hint some interest, or just outright ask if you can join. Alternatively, just be go straight for it, and ask if people want to do anything over the weekend. If you can't find the plans, make the plans. Otherwise, if you still find that you simply can't get in on their plans, maybe it's time to find other friends.

    Second question:

    High school girls are far from perfect, so it's very likely that it'll be difficult to find someone you really like. Or, perhaps your standards are too high; remember, you need to actually get to know someone personally before you can tell if she is someone you would like. If your standard is 100% look first, talk later, then you're going to have a really challenging time finding a girl you truly like.

    As for talking, I'm not great at that part (read: very bad), so I can't give much advice. However, one thing that sticks out is this: If you do have a natural charisma, then use it; call girls instead of texting. Use what you have to your advantage.


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What Girls Said 1

  • well first off when you do find a girl don't talk to her all desperatly you got to make her want you so don't message her every single day! secondly if you have friends get there numbers and text them on weekends and ask them what they have planned or you make plans with them opening the door for them to get comfortable with actually inviting you with them some were don't message them every single weekend either or they might get annoyed


What Guys Said 1

  • Talk to girls IRL before you start texting them, so their first impression is based on face-to-face interaction. It will be easier for them to understand your awkwardness via texting. I'm in a very similar position (still no girlfriend, mind ) , but this helps.

    Try making plans with your friends (or find some new ones - they don't sound like great mates, but I probably don't know the whole story).

    good luck

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