I am engaged, and my fiancé has recently started to judge the fact that I have been married twice, both cheated, this was over a ten year period, first married was 7 years and 2nd was 10 months. He said he is not concerned about the divorcing them part but the fact I married. I am confused and do not understand. He proposed and I said yes, but every time we talk about setting a date he says that he is 100 percent sure he wants to marry me but that he's not 100 percent sure I want to marry him because I have already done it twice. I am not sure how to deal with this. lastnight we chose and date to get married and we were both so excited. today he was saying the whole past marriages again... I told him today that I wasn't going to bring up wedding plans anymore.
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I'm not clear about his objection. Does it bother him because he thinks you carry some of the blame in the marriages ending? Or does he think that divorce is morally wrong? In the first case, does he think that you drove them to cheat? Or does he think you should have stayed with someone who cheats? The counter-argument to this is to imagine what would happen if you cheated on him. Would that be his fault? Would he be obligated to stay with you no matter what you did?
If his problem with this is moral, I assume this is a Judeo-Christian stance. You can point out to him that both belief systems allow for divorce when a partner cheats. Jesus said that no one should divorce UNLESS their partner was unfaithful (Mt 19:9). Jewish divorce laws were even less restrictive. You did no wrong according to either system.0