Should I contact him or move on?

I started casually dating this really great guy a little over 2 months ago. He started an internship this summer where he has to work a ton of hours and the fact that we live 40 min from each other has put a strain on building a relationship (the internship ends next month). I met his parents a few weeks ago and he has told me that he's open to the idea of a relationship. But, lately I've been feeling kind of neglected and that things weren't progressing (we haven't been on a date in a month because he went on vacation and work schedules) so I talked to him about it and he said that he doesn't want a girlfriend right now. He likes hanging out with me but he's too busy. I know guys use "busy" as an excuse so I took it as a red flag and said that we shouldn't talk anymore because I want a relationship.

We haven't talked for a week now but I'm starting to regret not leaving the door open for him to contact me. I keep going back and forth from "he would contact you if he cares" to "he's not contacting you because he's respecting your wishes because he isn't a jerk". I feel like I might have overreacted due to past trust issues with guys I've dated not committing to me and humiliating me by dating other girls at the same time. But at the same time I want to be respected and not hang around if he isn't in it for the long haul. So my question is- Should I reach out to him saying something like we can be friends and he can contact me and we can revisit this when he gets less busy or should I just let it be and if he contacts me then he does if not just move on?


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • I'd put my money on he's not a jerk. If you told him that you don't want to talk anymore because you want a relationship, he sees it as you gave him two choices, either change his current life and have it take a backseat to you, or to just keep on and say goodbye.

    If you go back to him and say that you're sorry, you overreacted, you still want to be friends, hope that things for him change, but not to let that change take too long.

    At least he let you know he doesn't have time, he's a young guy trying to do right by him and get his life in order. He did right by you by letting you know that THAT is his priority right now. From a man's perspective, that makes sense, and it's better than having you look at the phone wondering why he's not calling/texting/stopping by.

    • I decided to text him something similar to what you said and he said of course he would still like to be friends. We texted back and forth a little bit and everything seems fine now. I think the break helped me think and put things into perspective but I didn't want to cut him off completely. I was afraid to text him and didn't know what to say so thanks for your advice.

    • I'm glad things are working out! Good luck!

What Girls Said 0

Be the first girl to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

Loading... ;