Insecurities/negative thinking about the dating world and the opposite gender. How do I change it?

Has anyone gone through a stage in their life where they don't trust the opposite gender; or dating in general?

I had a break up in February that I'm pretty much healed from. I realized my faults in the breakups as well as hers. But it triggered some unrelated thoughts about dating in general.

I see friends cheat on their girlfriends. Or girls emotionally/physically cheating. Divorces.

Maybe it's an insecurity of mine or something, but I don't trust women (saying this because I DATE that gender-not saying women are responsible). I think it's natural to have a knee-jerk reaction of not trusting the opposite sex. Maybe I don't feel good enough that they will be faithful. I have a negative image of the dating world that makes me scared to enter it. All in all I know I need to get over this.

And possibly sucks more because my ex started dating someone a month and a half after the break up. It feels tough to get back in the game and sucks she is already gone.

Who has dealt with these insecurities/thoughts? I'm open to any kind of advice, experiences, quotes, etc that can shed some light!



Most Helpful Guy

  • I have been through this. I feel at times like it's my fault things went wrong but as I've probably had it rougher than you I can tell you this: the negative feelings will pass with time. I have spent a couple of years at a time being single, and happy about it. Yeah, someone hurt me so much that I let them get to me and affect my life, but at the same time I'm happy without relying on a relationship or someone else to make me happy.

    I spent a lot of time saying this, and I know it's a horrible generalization and thing to say but it's how I felt when all I could remember was how many people she slept with while we were in a relationship. "all women are bitches, all bitches are ho's."

    You don't really change it, you just try to learn from your past mistakes and when you're not feeling so angry/insecure at the whole dating world you'll be ready to get back in the game. Just make sure you feel ready for dating otherwise you're wasting your time.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • try to get to know people before making judgments, most people are pretty decent when you spend the time to get to know them.


What Guys Said 1

  • Divorced 15 years ago, I'll never trust again. Dating is a fools game like playing Russian roulette with a grenade.

    Don't waste your life and energy, it's not you, you are fine. You just live in an unfair environment toxic to decent men. Save yourself the pain go MGTOW.

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