Obsessive or close friendship?

I am in a relationship with an amazing man caring, sweet and loving but the problem is there's a girl who texts him who I think is a bit obsessive. She tells him every little problem in her life and I mean EVERYTHING. She text him the other day "*Name* I'm really scared can you help me?" And I think that's weird since she hasn't known him very long at all. She texts him things like "You're the only person I trust to help me" and "I'm so glad I have you". Is it just me or is this dodgy? I just want to know am I reading to much into this or is she obsessed?

Update: He ignores her half the time and he says he would tell her to go away if I wish but they go to uni together and she hangs with the same friends so it would make things extremely awkward for him to do that. He knows it's inappropriate but he thinks if he ignores her she'll stop.
I want to clarify I don't think he's cheating or anything funny is going on I just think she is too dependant on him with not knowing him very well at all.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I have been married for over 8 years (to my first love) well and only but I can tell you, I was 21 when I got married. There was a female that called him and he knew right off the bat to tell her to go away. It's all in what you're willing to tolerate. Your sweet and caring man should know that twos a relationship 3 is a crowd.

    I would pull him aside and tell him straight out, Either you're committed to me solely and you can live with out this girl or we need to part ways and you can go to her. If he is unwilling to part with her my best advice is to leave him if you truly cannot tolerate it. I don't see why any woman would be willing to tolerate her husband/boyfriend etc... talking like this to another woman. It's a recipe for disaster.

    also it says a lot about how much this girl respects you and how much he respects you for not telling her to go away.

    • He understands why I'm weary and he has offered to tell her to go away but you're right about the three's a crowd. Thanks for the advice :)

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  • Have you asked him about this girl? I wouldn't like it just because that's how I am. but if your OK with them being just friends and they have never done anything then it wouldn't be that bad...

    • We've spoke and he understands she just continues to depend on him even if he completely ignores her. If he ignores her she just texts a few hours later she really needs him it's urgent.

  • would he be OK with you trying to talk to her. and like tell her to kinda back off?

    • He said he'd do it himself if I wanted him too but because of his situation it would just cause grief.

    • then have him do it

  • I don't think there's anything wrong with the girl. I think you need to ask yourself why your winding yoyrself up over her. Your boyfriend has made it clear he isn't interested. You should trust him. They soynd like just friends.

    • I do trust him I just find her behavior odd and was asking am I seeing it wrong. But certain things she texts are inappropriate to text a guy in a relationship in my eyes. She may just be a bit forward by nature I just was questioning if it was too forward.

    • I understand. If this is really bothering you and genuinely sit back and evaluate what exactly it is...as in is it the frequency of her messages, the content, how your boyfriend responds, is it cos she's another female...think about it all then if you believe its the girls messages then you could try sending a message to her from your boyfriends phone with his prrmission or better ask him to, just saying I'm sorry I can't get back to you right now I'm busy...if she messages about same subject again just

    • Just get your boyfriend to say oh I'm sorry I forgot...keep doing that a few times where in between some if those times he does respond barely, then slowly she'll break her attachment

  • I think she probs doesn't gave many friends...i say to my male friends I'm so glad I have you as well. Its just appreciating someone...but if you apply an certain tone of voice you can potentially make that sound crazy wgen infsct its innocent. I think she really sees him as s good person and good friend. It doesn't sound obssessive to me. And you kbow it doesn't matter how long people have known eaxhother...so oeople become good friends. Are you threatened by her? If so I wouldn't worry about her...she seems from what you wrote like a oerson who just sees him as a friend.

    • She actually has a large group of friends and I'm not threatened just cautious how dependant she becomes on my partner and how it could escalate.

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