Is it strange I'm not really interested in 'White' guys anymore?

I've been through the dating world I guess...I'm Asian - feel as though I am less and less attracted to Caucasian guys. I have friends in all races but I had some bad experiences...

I hate to stereotype what my preferences are now. I still believe that there is bad and good in every race. but I feel more and more disappointed...the first boyfriend I had physically assaulted me, the few after that , well used or cheated on me. I have my but I feel less attracted to him.

I wonder if there's a psychological term for this. I know every one has their preferences but can it just be that I have had too many heart breaking experiences and rude encounters with males of this cultural 'background' or ancestry?

I couldn't date anyone for awhile because I was hurt pretty bad. My current guy is very loving. but I sometimes wonder... are people better off dating within their race? I am also tired of some stereotype that I'm 'submissive'. I am far from it though- personally I know my strengths but...

Have you guys ever stopped liking anyone because of the experiences you had with a particular group...again and again disappointed you till you were turned off by them?

I don't need a lecture on extrapolation of traits. I would appreciate it if peeps just actually answered the question...thanks. sheesh.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hmm in my opinion you should be turned off to individuals not treat them as a group. If I had bad experiences with some white girls I wouldn't just stop dating them and move onto Hispanic girls. Race isn't indicative of personality or habits. Just because you've dated some guys who were trashy doesn't mean that ALL men of a certain race are trashy.

    You have to watch out for some white guys who are into Asian girls too. There are some who will only date you because of stereotypes instead of who you are as an individual. Please keep an eye out for jerks like that who would treat you like an object instead of a human being.

    • i honestly don't hate anyone but I'm just not attracted to any guys. I have shields up and my current boyfriend really had to try hard to get me to trust him or let him in. I don't mean to offend you ...i get what your saying. thanks. yes I dated one or two particular white guys who were like that and they were weird when we did date, were into Asian things more so than I was .. thanks bro for your input

    • you're very welcome. I didn't get the vibe that you hate anyone either so it's all good. What do you mean by "I'm just not attracted to any guys?"

    • I had a traumatizing incident with one or two guys I dated and after that I date for two years, every time I Seen a couple, or anything romantic I would hurt because my first wasn't a good, guys after that hurt and I just got turned off, or stayed within my circle of friends only

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • It's called adaptation.

    • i am adapting by...not have dated anyone for two years after bad experiences? lols. then now I have a bf... I don't get it

    • Your perceptions of a group have changed based on your experiences with them. Adaptation. Simple.

  • No one does anymore apparently.

    • lol...sighs

    • What? I answered the question. It means it's not strange for you to not be attracted to them if you couldn't tell.

What Girls Said 6

  • It's unfair to judge an entire race based off of the few bad experiences you have had.

    Although it may seem as If everyone in that race is like that, you have to understand there still is a whole population of people you have not met.

    Your current boyfriend is loving and caring towards you, this should show you that not all people from that race are that way.

    Everyone one is an individual and functions on their own brain.

    Just like how you don't want people to stereotype you by assuming you are "submissive" because of your race.

    Should give you the same mindset that stereotyping is not always accurate and untrue.

    Guys within your race can mistreat you.

    Anyone can treat you bad!

    Not a particular race.

    So staying within your own race doesn't mean you may have it better.

    • ... I already knew this?

    • Okay, so then don't post the question because this is a site where people offer their opinion in detail. Read. I'm sure you knew that too.

  • There's good and bad within every race

    Unfortunately, you came across some bad apples. I don't think you should write off an entire race of men based on those few bad ones.

    And please don't punish your current boyfriend for the sins of your ex boyfriend. It's unfair to him and it's unfair to you. He's not your ex and you're not in a relationship with your ex. Your boyfriend is your current relationship and you should appreciate him for what he has to offer and for the good person he is.

    • never did punish him. but he and I talk a lot and we have a great relationship. my question was only referring to anyone who has had SIMILAR EXPERIENCES. I know not to judge...but obviously idiots will judge my question. thanks for your input...

  • LOL I don't blame you.

    • 'lol' ? that's a bit insensitive.

  • First of all,

    Understand that you are on a website with predominantly white men. Also reaize that many white men here have jumped on the "poor white people/white guilt" bandwaggon so they are going to automatically be on the defense when they see a post like this. In fact, I bet most of them assumed you were black because there's been so many white people lashing out in anger about people being bold and honest towards how they feel about whites. Many times, whites assume that black people are the only people capable of harboring negative thoughts and feelings towards them. Wrong. So don't get too offended if you get some preachy, defensive white people coming here.

    While I don't think it's fair for you to exclude every white man for the actions of others that they had absolutely no influence or control over; I understand where you're coming from. I used to be so interested in white guys. Then I grew up and had too many experiences where white people were entitled, self-righteous, and innately racist or in the least prejudice. I lost interest. At this point, I would NEVER take a white guy seriously when it comes to dating/relationships.

    • it's a lesson in self criticism and most of these guys failed (the ones that hurt me anyways) and yes they thought they were always right, even the one who assaulted me. there's a loser (female) who thought it was funny...I Wonder what 'race' she is (sarcasm)... I'm turned off but I am trying to date someone.

      I 90% of the time give them a chance, but I'm disappointed mostly except for one white guy so far. I have no idea.

  • Shucks, I don't blame you. They're a handful.

  • No not strange at all.I feel the same way.I am from South Asia.I used to be attracted to them but now I think I am more attracted to my own type or East Asian men.It has nothing to do with bad experience but I get tired with some of them who assume I am not Indian just because I have light skin and light eyes.It shows that they have been stereotyping how Indian girls look the same so that definitely offend me.I also noticed on this site whenever come to preference they usually state they adore Asian girls and their own girls but how funny they come and tell me Asian girls don't do it for them.I bet they say the opposite to Asian girls.So two faces guys aren't my type.

    • thanks. your answer is the type I was kinda looking for. so you understand how I feel. some guys lie so much about what they have or haven't done and expect the next girl to be niave and believe them.i admit I use to be niave and now I know better. I personally get tired of disrespect or assumption I don't know about things such as fixing cars, painting a house, hardware etc...same boat as you. I'm lucky now I got a better guy but still...the bad experiences make me turned off