Why now, after a year of reaching out to him?

My ex and I broke up last year around early May. I guess you could say I ended things with him after sending him a message saying if he could not make time for the relationship then we should both walk away. Needless to say, I never heard from him after that. I didn't want things to end; instead I just wanted to get answers.

Soon after I learned he was seeing another female that moved into his home, which I knew she was moving in because he had several roommates and told me about her moving in early on. I just didn't think he would start dating soon after.

I reached out to him several times apologizing for how things ended, which he replied. The girl he dated broke up with him after telling him she had been dating someone else while they were together. I never spoke about who he was dating as it was not my business. But I did feel bad that he had gone through so much. I continued to reach out to him once or twice every few months. It was difficult, but since I had broken things off I assumed I would have to put myself out there even if it hurt.

So here is where I am confused. I received a message from him around twelve at night saying the following:

Text 1: OK, I don't think I want anything serious. But we can go out again

Text 2: If you want, but not anything serious

I reached him back saying I would like to hang out again and that I understand.

Text 3: Maybe next week ?

I told him I was busy next week but offered the week after and he said the following:

Text 4: Ok

Text 5: Deal

Text 6: I miss the fun

Now I was surprise that he sent me this because I've tried so hard to reach out to him because I really do miss him. I had gotten really upset a few months prior and accused him of being really dismissive towards me. He in return got upset and stated "I respond to you like I do everyone else", "why are you texting me at 1am", "if this is a problem then stop texting". Of course I apologize for offending him and texting him so late. So getting a text from him so late was shocking and I didn't make a big deal because I still care.

I want to hang out with him, but I will always want more and he's saying he doesn't think he wants anything serious. He knows how I feel and that I will want more so why even say we can go out again. I thought perhaps he made a mistake and drunk texted me, but why now. He's been putting up this wall for months and trying to convince me about how happy he was when I know better.

I really do miss this guy and want to give him what he wants, but I just don't want to get hurt. Any opinion from guys is welcomed. I just want an unbias opinion. No "he's not that into you" quotes. Just real life experiences. Thanks :)

So the week came and gone, but nothing. I'll trust his actions and move on.


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What Guys Said 1

  • "I really do miss this guy and want to give him what he wants, but I just don't want to get hurt."

    1) Never give someone you love what they want. Give them what in your best judgement is truly best for them.

    2) You'll never end up with the love of your life by playing it safe. Love doesn't work that way. You must risk experiencing the hurt of loving to achieve the joys of loving.

    I don't have any idea why he's calling you now. In the words of Hillary Clinton . . . "What difference does it make?"

    Why not take him at his word ["I miss the fun."] and see where it goes.

    • Thank you; you're right

What Girls Said 1

  • Sometimes guy mature in a short amount of time. He might have changed himself.

    • I hope it means he's changed for the better. I started to think that he really hated me. I will see what happens and if he actually keeps the plans to meet up orif he will just stand me up.

    • Also, thank you for responding to my question.