Ladies: Online dating and some advice please

So I made a fake female dating profile on POF. Wanted to see what kind of attention women get on there. I used some random pic I found using Google of a decent looking girl. Kind of made all the selections neutral and kept the self-summary very short. Here's what I found.

Have over 50 messages in two days...

Men of all sorts are sending messages. Most of them are pretty pathetic "hey what's up" or "hey you're cute and I think we have stuff in common" -Even though I barely put anything on the profile at all.

Is this my competition? Like, really? I have been on there for almost 9 months now and my inbox has messages from maybe 10 women total. I've had a 6 month relationship and been with couple really good looking women I met from there. But the volume I deal with is tiny compared to what a random woman gets. I have clean cut pics of myself in nice clothes on there. I have a full, straightforward profile. I send messages that actually have substance and bring up what women put on their profiles. Oh, and even though I am very fit and workout 6 times a week, I don't post pics of myself with my shirt off.

Pretty much any guy who looks fit I see on that site has a pic with their shirt off. Is this attractive? It seems incredibly douche bag to me.. I guess unless they are not "looking for a relationship" but most of them claim to be.

Why would you girls even initiate contact with a guy who seems so shallow? Are these guys getting all the attention? Because as nice looking guy who shows actual interest in my messages and has things going for him, I barely get any attention. Should I move to instead? Seems like a free dating website is not the place to find a meaningful relationship.

The other thing that this highlights is the amount of attention women get on these sites. How can you actually start to like someone you're dating when you have 50+ messages from different men every week? I am dating a girl now that is on there every night still. It feels pretty sh*tty knowing I'm competing with a hundred men at once. I've had many great dates with a few women I've met on there that just went cold. I'm guessing if they weren't online getting all that attention I'd probably be with one of them now. Why see where it goes with a guy when this other guy is a little hotter and you might like him better?

So I want to ask you ladies.. How many of you using online dating continue to look and respond to messages every day even when you claim to be having a good time with someone you've already been on dates with? Do you have to be REALLY into a guy to sop going online? As a guy, I think it's ridiculous to keep searching when you have a good opportunity with someone already. If I keep searching, I start comparing, and then I start lying, and then it goes cold. Any advice? Should I just bring up the exclusive talk sooner to make sure we're on the same page if I think it's going well?

Just checked that profile.. 21 new messages! WTF! No wonder I barely get any responses. Now that I think about it... I'm probably doing pretty good. I've had a girlfriend from POF, and have been with two other attractive ladies I met on there. Maybe I just need to be more patient.


Most Helpful Guy

  • My brother, I am in kind of the same situation. Most of the 50 guys per day are liars. They are lying in some form to appeal to women. Women get really confused and don't know what to do. They also think they are royalty because of this. Then when these loser guys show their true colors as pure a**holes, the women become jaded and bitter. It's really the woman's fault for buying into pure lies (I can easily tell when a guy is lying in his ad and/or first date). A true honest decent looking average guy has no shot on there.

    I would try eHarmony, it's for serious people or just tough it out.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • I don't think most men who message, aren't serious. They're just doing it to get a reaction (One liners) and to annoy females.

    Another reason could be that there are always more men online than women.

  • Hi there. My mum used this site and she too got a ridiculous amount of inboxes. Not that I think it's that flattering because these men must be inboxing 50 other women that day I think! By the way, topless men do look like douches! Anyway my mum dated 8 of these men over a period of 6 months and none of them worked out then she met someone and is still with him 2 years later and will be getting married. After a few dates she knew he was right for her and did not hesitate in deleting her account! Good luck!


What Guys Said 1

  • Here's the problem. As you say, girls get tons of messages. But also a girl is going to think you're pathetic for even being on the site. It's sexist double standards, but what can you do?

    My advice is quit online dating and just approach girls in real life.