How to date a nerdy guy?

I am currently dating a guy that is a nerd basically. We are a bit long distance and we have been talking for a month now through Skype and messaging. I'm considered a pretty girl and have never had trouble with boys; yet, somehow my flirtatious ways and tricks don't work on him like it does with other guys. I find myself getting nervous around him because he is cute and intelligent. I also think I get nervous because I'm afraid I'll say something dumb around him and then look stupid. Any tips on dating a nerdy guy if you haven't before?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He's a guy. That's all you really need to know. He's just a guy. Sure, maybe he's a really smart guy, but still a guy. You don't have to worry too hard about looking stupid, I'm sure. Besides, what exactly do you think you're going to do or say that will be conceived as stupid? That you don't know about something? That's just simple ignorance. That's not so bad. You can always say you don't know, and then ask him about it. Or, you could always try to learn about the things you're worried about not knowing.

    Still, even then, I don't think you not knowing things is going to be such a huge dent in your relationship. Just be yourself. If he liked you before, for who you were, then I imagine had an idea of who you were, and is OK with it. I know I've dated some pretty dumb girls (If I am being honest) and I never minded much, really. I thought they were good people, and they were nice, and good to me, and were at least interested in what I had to say, and actually asked questions, listened when I answered and payed attention! That, actually was great.

    Now, I am also not calling you stupid. I don't know you. You're probably smarter than you realize, or at least smarter than you're letting on, or maybe in different ways than him, and don't even acknowledge. I'm not even saying being stupid, dumb or ignorant is what guys want in a girl (although I imagine there are exceptions) but I will say that if your heart is in the right place, you treat him well, and genuinely put in a real effort to show interest, I think that will make up for a lot, where intelligence might lack.

    Still, at the end of the day, he's just a guy. Treat him like you would any other guy, and treat him well. Show interest. Ask questions. Listen. Be honest. Sure, your flirtation and "tricks" might not have an effect, but if anything this whole situation should teach you that you're clearly far too dependent on those tricks, anyway. Perhaps it's time to be the real you.

    Good luck with this guy.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • Just be yourself, if he doesn't like that then he isn't right for you.

  • There are no tips as they are just males. If anything it's the same as with everyone else; just take interest in their lives and show mild amusement at their existences.

  • how far do you and him live from each other?

  • Use your vagina like no other.


What Girls Said 1

  • mhm... dating nerdy/smart guys is a bit difficult... but it's worth it if you keep up to their level.

    Little illustration:

    Back when I was in high-school I had a male french class-mate friend, back then he was 15 and I was 17/18 in Senior Year. ( He was the youngest in our class, because he is a genius, a physics genius to make more specific.) We both felt attracted to each other, our classmates even used to refer to us as "Francua" (I can't spell the french word, sorry), because my name is Francia and he is French. But we never dated, because I kinda felt bad because he was younger than me. Everyone thought we were dating secretly though! But that wasn't the true case.

    Back then I was an A- student, and he was a A+ But Oh, My God! that dude ready made my life a bit miserable sometimes.He would make fun of me for every little mistake I did. We would fight like cats and dogs (literally) over class subjects, I would sometimes stone him with a coke plastic bottles during lunch time across our lunch table, because he was correcting over something. But remember we liked each other. Funny right?

    I don't know if you're as nerdy/smart as him but If you're not, you'll feel very uncomfortable around him. And if you're as bright as him, be humble, guys like feeling "over the top" sometimes.

    I got used to this guy overtime..What I like about nerdy guys is that they have an innocent behavior although they are geniuses.. This was my case.