Groups of guys all dating the same girl? (Chronic Homiehopping - Dating or Relationship material, I'm unsure.)

Admittedly, I am asking this out of sheer curiosity from what I've seen and also having a boy I liked date his friend's ex. (Yes, I was/am jealous - Please don't get on my case because I admit it.) I've noticed that groups of guys - ESPECIALLY nerdy guys - have a habit of recycling girlfriends. Usually, it's one girl who isn't necessarily stunning in looks or personality. She'll date one dude for a fairly-long time - sometimes well over a year - then start dating his best friend for a while, then ANOTHER guy in the group, or his best friend.

I've seen it in other groups and it happened with the guy that I like - I am pretty sure she dumped him for one of his close friends, the guy I liked. To be honest, she wasn't that outstandingly pretty and when I had class with her (or saw her in other situations), she never had anything really interesting to say. Not saying that I'm better, but I've modeled and have a very fun, magnetic personality. I've noticed that the other pass-around girlfriends aren't always necessarily stunning in mind or body as well. I understand that beauty is subjective and that this is insecurity talking but I've even asked other people who agreed. Please pardon my being judgmental, but it took a while to get over it and I need a real answer.

I've talked about it wither other people who have seen it and agree that it happens most among "loser"/low-status social groups but no matter how much I google it, my searches are fruitless. No one seems to have any specific remarks in relation to this.

I would GREATLY appreciate it. I promise that I am not superficial, but I truly want to know about the underlying processes. If someone I dated for a long time then dated someone I was close with, I would feel betrayed and incessantly think, "Well, what were YOU thinking all along?"

*Cue Weezer and temporary depression*


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • we can agree that nerds are smart, right? we can agree that they are down to earth? when something is good/great, everybody wants it right? most likley, this girl, your arch nemesis, is a great person. from the standpoint of nerds, yea having a bombshell girlfriend would be fantastic, but 'what if she dumps me for meathead over there.' if you're going to question the relationship, it's not a good foundation. nerds tend to think in terms of math. a hot girl is an indeterminate variable. they like to know, and when it can't be known, well it's best to steer clear. have you ever watched 'a beautiful mind'? it might answer some questions.

    • I wouldn't describe her as an archnemesis ha ha that is going WAY too far, although she was involved in an incident prior in relation to me that was um... Really bad. I'm not traditionally hot, either, and I am definitely down-to-earth, despite what this post might indicate. I am legitimately curious about it as a phenomenon and I assure you that other chronic homie-hoppers I've seen were FAR from down-to-earth and blatantly f***ed with people's feelings, but that isn't everyone!

    • some groups, it's like a can't have it until I'm done. some groups, sure you can play with it, but it's still mine. nerds know the value of a good person/friend. and generally speaking aren't cut-throat. I was out of the scene by the time homie hoppers came about. there's only really 2 reasons why a girl is popular. 1. she puts out. 2. she's a great person. if she's pretty but a terrible personality, she may appear popular because of the dirt she has on her followers.

What Girls Said 1

  • I saw this happen with kids when I was in HS, but it was the POPULAR crowd that recycled GF's. Like other poster said, they get to hang out with this girl as friends, see how cool she is, and secretly develop feelings. Then when the couple breaks, someone else is naturally going to ask her out. This changes after HS quite a bit when y'all start meeting new people.

    By the way, this statement, ("Not saying that I'm better, but I've modeled and have a very fun, magnetic personality.") Is ABSOLUTELY sounding conceited. If you want to make a statement like "Not saying that I'm better", then just say it. Don't follow it up with all the reasons you THINK you're better. That's right, you only THINK you're better, you have no idea what her story or journey is, so don't be judging others. Totally kills your argument when you say stuff like that, learn to be humble.

    • Whoa, I wasn't saying I was better - I just understand that I'm a nice person and a good catch. (I have high self-esteem, as I believe that everyone should.) Who knows? Maybe she's modeled and has a charismatic personality as well. I realize that I don't know her journey/story and overlooked the offense that was previously committed against me. Aaaahhh, why am I bothering? This is the f***ing internet!