How do I convince him to take the risk?

We've been togetherish on and off for 3 years but we've never officially dated. As of now, we were on the verge of dating but then he freaked out - he said he was afraid we would fail or that I would resent him if we had to move for his job.

I told him that those are things you can't predict. How can I convince him that it'll be okay?


Most Helpful Girl

  • after 3 years he should already know if he wants to be with you on a permanent basis,he will continue to take whatever you give him..u must set a cut off date, you sound more like a bootie call and if you are happy in a non committed relationship , stay but if you want more(and you should)you need to tell him straight up that you deserve more and if he doesn't want to give that to u,you must move on, it will hurt but if he lets you go, he was bound to do it anyways and you have your answer,but the writing is already on the wall that's why you are here.


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What Girls Said 2

  • Sounds like he's protecting his self. This could be a challenge he wants you to over come and show him how much you are in to him or he thinks of you as only a toy to play with and nothing he would consider starting a serious relationship with. If you really want him. You gotta get that guard down. He don't want to risk loosing his toy for ever with a relationship. He wants to lead let him if you hope to change your relationship. You do anything for the person you love - tell him what he wants to hear. Close the conversation with a positive answer of assurance not with an open end like "those are things you can't predict. That sounds like Yeah maybe your right.

  • He sounds so guarded that it gives me pause.

    After 3 years, he still isn't willing to commit? Something is definitely going on with him, although I'm not exactly sure what it is.

    If you really want to be with him, I think it's time to put your foot down and let him know that if he wants to be with you, he's WITH you. 3 years is long enough to feel secure about someone, long enough to know how you feel about someone, etc.

    If he isn't feeling it after this long, chances are he never will.