Am I in the friend zone?

First off its long distance... However every time I go back we try to find time together (been back 4 times this year already). I've tried to push him out of my mind. Then my birthday just happened and he sends me a long public comment on how happy he is to know me, how I kick ass, how glad I am in his life and ends it with Much Love!

Prior to this we have been friends for about 5 years. The last 2 years have been increasing in the flirty dept. I got completely embarrassed one night when someone called him out on liking me. I turned red and so did he, it took me a min to recover. Then a year later in a trip to visit, I was in town for less than 36hrs. He raced after a late meeting to meet/see me at the venue. We basically only said hello before I had to go. I thanked him for racing to see me though as he drove like 30 miles.

For the past year he's been ending message and emails with miss you. So I reply the same. Lately, last 6 months its been me initiating though. About a month ago I did finally have dinner with just him as I was curious. However, were they sat us was beyond awkward - it was almost at a bar (side by side). We couldn't look at each other and I started to nervously blab about my work and nonsense, I couldn't believe myself. At the end of the night he walked me to my car. Gave me a big hug bye, then we shared compliments for good evening, he pulled me in for a tighter hug - then pulled away. :/ I thought it would be followed by the long awaited kiss finally, but nothing. I haven't really talked to him much since until last night.

I'm coming back again in a couple weeks, and I started to text him while at a bar. He responded to my coming to town as 'looking forward to it' and 'if you need a place to crash always welcome'.

Thoughts for when/if I see him in a couple weeks? Should I contact him again before I'm in town. I mean if we're friend, you usually do. I go a couple weeks inbetween my texts to him that I initiate. I probably won't write to him again until I'm there or a couple days before I leave. It helps me to not pine for him by waiting a while between texts. Thanks everyone


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What Guys Said 2

  • the whole time that is how I would treet someone I had a crush on. except for the pull away. he may be really interested in you, but hesitant, because of the fact that it would be a long distance relationship and may not work.

  • well, that was a lot to take in and process, but I think I have an answer for you.

    to me, it seems, it could be one of two things.

    1. he likes you just as much as you like him, but he is reluctant to say anything due to any number or variables (distance, self-esteem, etc.)

    2. he is really good friend that knows how much you like him, but isn't attracted to you in that way. but he doesn't want to jeopardize the seemingly strong relationship you two have.

    this is coming from my minimal view of life and relationships. I do get called upon for advice, so I can't be that bad. can i?


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