I don't know what to do next after a couple dates, what do you guys think?

So some back story is required here. I'm a junior in college and at my school (like most others) relationships are most likely to begin with a drunken hookup in a frat basement. Most people do not go out on traditional dates until they are already in a relationship with someone.

Now I met this girl on a summer program for my school and came to like her a lot. Everyone on the trip knew each other well by the end of it. When we got back to campus, I got her number and asked her out to coffee. It went well and then we got lunch this past weekend. That time it didn't go as well, but I wouldn't say it was terrible. The conversation just didn't flow as smoothly.

The problem I have is that I cannot get a read on this girl. She's fairly shy and definitely not the type to chase after guys. I'm assuming she's interested because she has agreed to go on two dates with me. I just feel like if I never contacted her again, that would be the end of it. While she replies to my texts, she never initiates conversations, making me often the first and last person to text.

As far as I know she's never had a serious relationship in college, so maybe she just doesn't know what to do either, but I feel like after two weeks it wouldn't have killed her to initiate a conversation.

I honestly don't what to do next. I could ask her on a real dinner date and continue to text her first. It's possible that the only way I'll draw her out of her shell is to make all the decisions. For all I know the fact that she went out with me at all could be a huge step. My friends think I shouldn't do anything and wait to see if she contacts me. What do you guys think?


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What Girls Said 1

  • As a woman we have been trained not to 'chase' men. We've been told not to text first and make conversations short so you don't seem desperate. If she's still saying yes to going out then I'd say everything is normal. I would also say do something on you date. Play mini golf, ice skating, art gallery, boat ride, arcade, antique shopping, just something that you can talk about. Really there's only so many times you can go on a date and quiz each other. Once you've done some activities together you will relax and the conversation will become smoother.


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