What are the "tests" that women give to men when dating?

What kind of tests do women give to men, and how do I pass them?


Most Helpful Girl

  • 1) After talking a lot, I will not initiate contact again to see if he likes me enough to be proactive about me.

    2) If he cuts me off in the middle of conversation by accident or if his friend interrupts me talking, I'll let him finish and see if my boyfriend ever realizes I got interrupted and if he goes back and asks what I was saying.

    3) If I feel like he's not really paying attention to me, I'll ignore anything he says that I can get away with without being blatantly rude. If he starts paying more attention to me then and/or asks if there's anything wrong, I'll open back up and be cheerful and available, but if not, I'll continue to distance myself.

    4) If he's paying too much attention too me, I might cancel a date due to unforeseen circumstances to see if he reacts in a bad way (i.e. gets angry and/or accuses me) to see if he's insecure, impatient, or doesn't have a good grasp on his emotions

    • I have a question about number 4.

      If the guy is not insecure and is a very patient guy, how should he behave in order to not come off as if he doesn't care about you, after you cancelled the date?

    • Show All
    • Calex: If a guy is GOOD and he wants to come off like he cares about the girl after she cancels... He just needs to take it in stride, politely accept her reason for declining, give her a little space, but demonstrate that he aren't afraid to talk to her again. Basically, this "test" is designed to see if he is friend material too = durable boyfriend, or if he's completely consumed with infatuation to the point where it will smother her. Treat her like a friend as well as a lover and you're good

    • *he isn't afraid

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What Girls Said 6

  • Are you chivalrous and a gentleman? Do you pay the check on the first date? Are there any red flags in the answers you give such as how many women you've been with or the reason why your last relationship didn't work out? How do you treat your mother and how do you treat the waitress serving us on our date? (that shows pretty deep into your character) Do you call when you say you will? Do you ask me as many questions as I ask you meaning you are interested in getting to know me? Those are a few highlights.

  • Really the only one I do is letting him meet my friends... I know that if my friends don't like him, then he probably isn't for me. I always like to get my friends' honest opinions of the guys I date. How to pass? Just be the kind of guy my friends would want to see me with. Be respectful, classy, fun to hang out with, etc.

  • Do you keep your word, like calling when you say you will?

    Do you show her that she's actually special to you and not just some person you want to sleep with?

    Developing trust is basically what your question is touching on, men and women test to see if the other person can be trusted with their feelings.

  • Not initiate text a few times to see if he'll notice. That's about it.

  • either you are compatible or you are not. Everyone is not meant for everyone. Don't think of it as passing a test, think of it as deciding on who you are going to have a future with, wether it be a near future or a distant future.

    A woman could be looking for a relationship, so first she may try to find out if you are looking for a relationship too. either you are or you arent.

    second she could be looking for someone that she can easily talk to and be herself around, have fun with and finds attractive enough to sleep with. (((and as a woman has figured out what it is that she wants in a man, physical features are not always the thing that determines his attractiveness, ie: a woman may find a guy who could be a good father figure attractive, or a guy who could make a good husband attractive, or a guy who has money, or a guy who is just extremely funny. it varries)))). This determines if you two have a connection and this varries since we all do not have the same personalites, interests, values, beliefs, tastes. either you two have a connection, or you dont.

    either there is chemistry between you two or there isnt.

    so don't think of it like you have to pass a test, because you could be studying this, trying to change yourself into something you are not just so that you can get a woman to like you and in the long run, you may find yourself extremely unhappy because you are with a woman that you can not be yourself around.

    you may be a guy who hates cats for example and the woman that you are interested in loves cats to the point where she is opsessed, so she makes it apparent to bring her cats around you all the time and continuesly talks about them because cats are a big part of her life and she wants a man who can accpet her and her love for cats.

    Would you consider bringing the cat around you to be a test? Are you sure that you even want to pass her cat test?... Perhaps a crazy cat man is the type of guy she will do best with, he may not even see it as a test because cat obbsession is so natural for him.

    everyone is not meant for everyone.

  • Men think they're these psycho things but really they're compatibility tests. Nothing more. She asks what your favorite color is.

    What do you do for fun?

    She creates hypothetical situations you two might be in some day (out to eat and the waitress has bigger boobs than her) what do you do?

    Do you want kids?

    Are you going to be supportive of her hopes and ambitions?

    Will the schedule of your career fit in with the type of family life she hopes to have?

    Will your careers conflict with each other?

    Will you make enough money to support half the family (assuming she intends on working to support the other half)?

    Guys think it's all traps and scary and that women are psycho, but we're just trying to figure out if you are a man we can work well with and have a serious potentially spousal relationship with.

    And if she decides that your answers don't fit with hers in a way that neither of you can work with then she leaves.

    Simple logic really.

    There's no way to pass 100% because everyone wants different things for their lives and you might not be what some women ideally want. There are no blanket answers. Sorry.

    • Could be, but mostly they're just psycho.

    • If I was asked all this during a first or second date, I would run away so fast the dust would still be making a cloud 10 minutes after.

What Guys Said 5

  • Here's what I think people (both men and women) should check for on dates.

    -Okay, he treats YOU fine. But how does he treat his friends? The waiter?

    -How "elastic" are they. For instance, I often say women should expect to pay for their own meals. It's only fair. But see, I'm not going to explode about it or anything.

    Some people are too rigid: You either pass their test or you're a jerk. That's a big red flag for a stressful or potentially abusive relationship. Others are too economic: They constantly keep tabs on who owes whom. It's a relationship, not a stock exchange.

    -Check yourself. Are you acting like yourself? Do you feel he would accept you if you did?

    -What is their net stance on what they talk about? I've had girls who just can't stop talking about things they love, and it encourages me to love everything, including them. There are other girls who are passionate about how pissed off they are by a political issue, or who their friend is sleeping with.

    -You are right in front of them. If they cut you off because someone 50 miles away in a text, you can expect that this will continue through a relationship, and with more than just texting.

    -Are you their equal? Are you treating them as an equal, and are they you? If someone expects to "wear the pants", or expects you to "wear the pants", the relationship might not be so mutual and free-flowing.

  • there are some weird ones like getting a friend to do something around him to see if he'll be faithful, umm looking at him when an attractive girl walks by to see if he's gonna check her out. not text him to see if he "really cares" ie texting her etc

    • I don't trust that friend checking on a friend thing because first of all many times the friend who is pretending to flirt with the guy is a backstabbing B. Second that is really stupid she must have trust issues if she feels she needs to do that to you. Ridiculous if she doesn't call that really is just to see if your interested enough in her to call her back usually if a guy calls that says he's interested perhaps at that moment and who knows how long it will last. Really people get a grip

    • lol true didn't say they were good things! just that I've seen XP

  • any number of tests for loyalty, masculine traits, etc. The best strategy is to ignore them or agree with the woman.

  • You shouldn't look at dating as a test. Don't look for the shortcut to pass it. Be a standup guy, be honest, be kind, be yourself. If she likes you she'll stay with you. If not then she won't, but at least you'll know if she really truly likes you.

  • How much money you have and how willing you are to spend it on them.