Why is my boyfriend avoiding me and will not answer my text messages?

My boyfriend and I had the talk last month of moving in together next month. He said he wanted to be with me and I feel the same for him. We met online back in February. Both our online dating profiles were kept private because we decided to be exclusive with one another. He also had invited me for his birthday and said that he wants to go out of town. I requested days off from work ahead of time to be with him out of town. That was last month when I last saw him. I was telling my friends & family how happy I was that him

& I are finally moving in together and that we're going out of town for his birthday. Up until Friday last week, I noticed that he had unfriend me in Facebook and had unfriend me in Instagram yesterday. I tried calling him and he hung up on me and lead me straight to his voice mail. I sent him a couple of messages asking him why he did those things to me. He never replied to my voice mail and texts. I was asking him to confirm with me about him & I going out of town for his birthday and he didn't respond to that either. Today is his birthday. We were supposed to go out of town today til Sunday next week. That was the plan. He didn't confirm with me if I'm going with him or not. He gave me the silent treatment. No texts nor phone call from him. So, I ended cancelling my request for days off and reported back to work this week. We were supposed to move in together next month but he never updates me on what his plans are for that. Since he unfriend me in both Facebook & Instagram and had uninvited me to his birthday/going out of town thing... Are we considered "broken up" already without him telling me? It's been a month and a half since I last heard from him. He won't respond to my texts and phone calls until now. I checked his online dating profile to see if it's up or not. His profile is still private. I don't think he's dating other women. I'm confused. I'm still holding on to his promises. But now it's unclear if I still have a relationship with him or not. I need your advice. Thanks.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think he felt it was a good idea to move in with you, when it was just an idea, but then realized he didn't want to, as the deadline appeared.

    This is an important step in a relationship, and it usually leads to doubt or questionning.

    But his behavior is absolutely despicable. Instead of telling you about his doubt, and eventually postponing, he just removes you from his life.

    That is indecent, and even if it is not sure he has broken up with you (even if the clues you gave us tend to confirm that hypothesis), you should understand that he is an immature jerk, and should move on. He doesn't deserve you, or anybody else, acting like this.

    • I'm sticking with the thought that he had broken up with me. As they say "action speaks louder than words." When I called him last month, the call went straight to voice mail and he just ignored my text messages. And then, he unfriend me in both Facebook and Instagram. I believe that when you care about someone, you don't disrespect that person by just ignoring their calls or messages. It's just not right to treat people that way. I treated him with respect but he didn't do the same for me. :-(

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What Guys Said 2

  • you knew him for 5-6 month and were already planing to move together?

    personally I think that is very soon, but I'm from Europe and I guess we take things slower.

    by the way, I agree with yopyopyop

  • It sounds like you did something horrendous (like sleep with his brother) and he's found out and dumped you and is now too angry to even talk to you or text you.

    It definitely sounds like your relationship is over.

    Normally a guy would only act like this through blinding anger, and guys typically don't get this angry unless they are severely provoked.

    And let's face it - when it comes to provoking men, women are at the top of the game board. And the three most probable reasons are cheating, having a secret abortion, and lying about the parenthood of your child.

    • For the months I've known him, I'm a supportive and faithful girlfriend. When we met 6 months ago, his mom had just passed on. We enjoy each others' company and never had any arguments or anything like that (or so I thought). We had a fun relationship and have so many things in common. I've never provoked him in any way. Years before I met him, my ex boyfriend was the one who cheated on me with multiple women. So, I know how it feels like when someone you care about was the one who hurt you.

What Girls Said 2

  • i agree with thomasmore, 5-6 months is way too soon to move in together but I understand some people get there before others and it goes well so I'm not judging. that being said maybe he thought of the idea and shared with you that he wanted to but he realized that 5-6 months is moving way to fast for him and instead of being a man and telling you he needs to go more slowly he chickened out by flat out ignoring you.

    your relationship is definitely over, a month and a half is a heck of a long time to ignore your other half and no one can expect to just walk back into your life and continue the relationship after so long like nothing happened.

    you had a lucky escape, who wants to be with someone as immature as that? just move on and forget about him even if he does start talking to you again eventually, do you really want a repeat session of what just happened?

    • Thank you for the sound advice. I appreciate it. :-)

  • Nope, he has definitely left the building and in a really cold and harsh way too. That was not right of him to do that to you. You deserve better than that. Do you have any idea as to why he just randomly did this? Did you two have an argument?

    • There was no argument. He just said he's excited that we're moving in together soon and that he's looking forward to spending a week vacation because we're going to celebrate his birthday this month. It's just very odd that we parted ways happily that time because we're excited about the trip and moving in together and then all of a sudden, he won't answer my text messages at all. And then, he unfriend me in both Facebook and Instagram last week. He just disappeared :-(

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